Today was Gonna be the Day...

I check in once in a while. Today is that once.

2010-03-03T07:53:00.000-08:00

Whooooaaaah, thought I would blog for a momento today and let everyone know that words/thoughts are falling out of my brain and being puked all over the keyboard, the floor, my totally hipster v-neck t-shirt. I am blogging this particular blog entry from the (somewhat) comfy confines of my 'totally awesome if I was a 23 yr old bachelor' 2 bedroom (yes, two!) apartment in Naperville, Illinois. Naperville is a repressed suburbanites dream, and every morning I wake up and sniff the sweet smell of chain restaurants and abundant grocery outlets. And costco's, but no Sam's clubs because we are in the north now, and southern redneckery has to to infiltrate this Obama-loving bastion. We will be out of this apartment soon enough though, and we will move even deeper into the suburbs, barricading ourselves into a 4 bedroom, 3 bath with, hopefully, a sitting area in the master suite. I am sure that some of our friends will give us shit for not moving into the city- Chicago, but the city living part of my life is over. I am returning to my roots. I want a garage, safe schools, culver's, and a large backyard. I am very much over crime, lack of parking, and the plaintiff wail (OJ!) of sirens lulling us to sleep each night. I have no interest in living in the city, and either does our savings account. One of the annoying aspects of being this close to Chicago will be the drip-down effect that comes with associating with people who live within its confines- they act like, with their noses in the air and a big stick up their ass, the city they live is the fucking greatest place ever, in the history of man, and anyone who does not live their is one small step above mongoloid. People who live close but cannot commit to the city are sub-mongoloid as they made a conscious choice to not embrace the utopian beauty of the city on the hill errrrr lake. I first experienced this when I lived near, but not in, San Francisco.

THE BIG NEWS: Claire is 1 and rolling large. She is almost walking and becoming a very opinionated and independant little baby, soon to be a toddler. Jana is also expecting another baby and our family of 3 will soon be 4, sometime around the 1st of October. Boy or Girl? Your guess is as valid as mine. Am i destined to be surrounded by women? Probably.

"I should have been there!" The Top 10 Linfield games I wish I would have seen since moving to STL.

2009-11-18T06:36:00.001-08:00

I am in the midst of my wilderness years. Most people go into the woods on a voyage of self-discovery, though some go because they have nothing better to do. The latter is the reason I moved to the midwest. That, and my meal ticket, I mean wife getting a job in St Louis, MO. People either emerge from the woods refreshed and reinvigorated, or they get eaten by bears. It appears, in my case, I may just live out life surrounded by the proverbial trees. I moved out here assuming that I would always be drawn back to my beloved Pacific Northwest, but as the months turn into years, the once bright light of that prospect grows dimmer. I am fine with this though. An impending move to Chicago will make me more, and the rest of the country, accessible, and I really like the fact that primetime television starts at 7pm and I can enjoy David Lettermen at a more reachable time of 10:30. Of course, there are some weird aspects. I am unsure how to feel about the prospect that I may be slowly morphing into a midwesterner, the kind of person that thinks a vacation is driving 45 minutes to Branson and watching Andy Williams sing 'white christmas'. I am even more weirded out by the idea that my daughter, born in Missouri, will in fact be a real BORN AND BRED person of the middle territory. Head shakingly strange,

There are, of course, many things I miss about Oregon. Friends and family, the beach, the great beer- it all seems to beckon to me, especially during fall. Outside of those that listen to my bull-shit and buy me gifts on holidays, the thing I miss most though is my Linfield College football wildcats. I have been tied to wildcat football since birth, and not being able to attend all of their games is the worst. Luckily, in the now 7 seasons that I have been gone, I have attended at least one game every year. I watched the cats win the national title in Salem, Virginia and I know how lucky I am for that. For that matter, I watched them win the national title in 1984 and 1986 as a kid, only missing the '82 title as I was deemed 'to young'. (I will never forgive my parents for that!!!) I travelled to Wisconsin and Minnesota, and regrettably Texas, and have never felt that my tie to the team has been severed. That being said, I have missed some games that were fun to listen to but make me wish I had seen them in person. And that is why, without furthur ado, I present to you the top 10 Linfield games in the past 7 seasons that I shoulda/coulda/woulda attended.

#10- September 15, 2007 Linfield College 52 Hardin Simmons University 42
I wanted to choose at least one game from every season I missed, and I had the hardest time choosing games from the 6-3 period of 2006-08. Not there was anything inherently wrong with these teams, but the cats were a bit in the wilderness themselves during this time. With the shocking departure of head coach Jay Locey to start the 2006 season, the cats struggled with an identity during this time. Due to my strategic planning, I also seemed to attend almost all of the 'games of the year' during this time period. This game squeeks onto the list for atmosphere and 'september in the catdome' as much as the great game itself. The game was a barn-burner though as the two teams combined for nearly 1200 yards of offense and Linfield quarterbackTrevor Sharer passed for a jaw-dropping 511 yards and 6 td's- while at the same time having a long pass of only 36 yards! Long field goals by Scott Birkhofer salted away the game (one being from 51 yards) and the cats avoided an 0-2 start to the 2007 season.

#9. September 30, 2006 Linfield College 42 Willamette University 14
Trevor Sharer is vastly underrated in the pantheon of Linfield qb's and this game onece again exhibits his brilliance. The game got off to a rousing start with a 94 yard td connection from Sharer to Josh Vierra, and after being tied 14-14 at the half, the cats poured it on in the second portion of the game. One touchdown came on a 34 pass between Sharer and current Willimaette player Brandon "bubba" Lemon. How ironic. Not attending a game in which willamette gets their butts kicked is nearly a crime, and it would be three long calendar years before we would defeat them again. Seeing this game would have at least kept the memories of our domination fresh.

#8. November 29, 2003 Linfield College 23 Wartburg University 20. Game played on the campus of Willamette University due to Maxwell Field's deteriorated conditions.
I have more distinct memories of this game, won by Linfield with a Garret Wales field goal as time expired. Facing Wartburg for the second year in a row in the first round of the playoffs, I was confident that we would blow them out again, and for a while it looked like my wish would come true. The warts showed grit in coming back, but disaster was averted at the end. This was my first season away from the cats and in St Louis, and in many ways it was the hardest. This entire playoff season I hoped and prayed for a game versus St John's in Collegeville, Minnesota, as I would be able to attend. Although the cats would lose the next week to the eventual national champion Johnnies, the trip to the great north was really a great time In fact, that quarterfinal loss provided the best feeling I have ever had after a bad result for the wildcats. Any fan of division 3, or even smaller college athletics, needs to get to St Johns at least once. The wildcats, lead by all time great Tyler Mathews, really had a chance to win that game, and seeing 15,000 people watching Linfield play was a sight I will never forget.

#7. December 4, 2004 Linfield College 56 Occidental 27.
Taking on Oxy and their stud quarterback Andy Collins for what would be the first of two straight early playoff mettings, Occidental came into the game crowing that they had finally found the way to stop Brett Elliott and the juggernaut that was the wildcats offense. This great plan? To play bump and run, and on the first play of the game their cornerback bumped and the George Carter ran- all the way for a 64 yard touchdown. I felt that the wildcats were unstoppable and, in reality, they were. This game got the playoff ball rolling and the team never looked back. Elliott passed for 402 yards and a school record 7 touchdowns, and Casey Allen, the greatest WIldcat receiver in history, had 221 yards receiving. During this 2004 season, I had the pleasure of seeing the cats take on Wisconsin-Stevens Point on the road, and I feel really lucky for that. It was, statistically, the closest game of the season, but also the game where the team really began to see and believe how good they were and could be. It was also the game where Casey Allen turned hard work off the field into amazing results on the field, and established himself as Linfield's go-to posesssion receiver. He had 13 catched for 151 yards.

#6. November 15, 2008 Linfield College 45 @Pacific utheran University 0
Shutting out PLU for a second straight year, at the Lute dome natch, is a feet in of itself but this game also stands out for the way that Linfield ended the 2008 campaign with a punctuation mark and got the ball rolling for the still ongoing 2009 playoff run. In what would turn out to be his final game as a wildcat, Cole Franklin seemed to put everything together and without eye-popping numbers acted as the field general of a complete beatdown. The eye popping niumbers of the day belonged to Travis Masters (135 yards rushing, 79 yards receiving) in what was also his final game as a wildcat. Beating PLU is always sweet, but beating them in Puyallup is the best. My dad was able to attend this game after his own wilderness period in which he lived in London, so that made it all the more sweet.

#5. October 22, 2005 Linfield College 62 University of Puget Sound 7
As the defending national champs, Linfield had a target on their backs for the entire 2005 season. Their run at back-to-back titles would eventually end on a sloppy day at the catdome in the national quarterfinals versus Wisconsin-Whitewater. (by the way, this is the WORST I have ever felt after a 'cat loss. I could barely find the words to express my utter dismay.) That game against UWW was a long way off on this Saturday though, as the Loggers came to town. This game was routine in the beatdown given to the loggers, but what makes this game special is the events that took place off the field, both in the ups school newspaper and in the Linfield eating commons- Diilin Hall. After playing Linfield relatively close (really concentrate on the word 'relatively') at ups the year before, the loggers felt like they had the best chance to beat Linfield. Their quotes in the school newspaper almost made it sound like they halved a win with Linfield in Tacoma the year before. As stupid as that is, the logger players cemented their status as mental midgets by mouthing off to anyone withing listening distance at their pre-game meal telling those who would listen how they were going to end the wildcats long winning streak. Alas, the loggers laid a log. Or got run over by a logging truck. Or just sucked. Linfield lead 35-0 before most people had even gotten comfortable, and the rout was on and over before ups knew it. Elliott had 364 yards passing with 6 td's, but he probably could have passed for 1,000- by the end of the 3rd quarter. I cannot say I was nervous for this game, more so I was worried for the safety of the poor, nice, little logger team. May the 2005 loggers rest in peace.

#4. September 11, 2004 Linfield College 58 Western Oregon University 17
This was the first game of the Brett Elliott era. As Linfield fans, I feel I can speak for all of us when I say that we knew we were going to be good, but I am not sure that any of us were prepared for the offensive awsoemness that was about to be unleashed on the d3 world. This was the butcher's introduction to wildcat nation, and I seriously considered flying out for the game at the last minute, even with tickets costing upwards of $400. In hindsight, it would have been worth it. I just knew that something special was brewing in McMinnville. WOU took an early 3-0 lead, but when Brett Elliott hit maybe my all-time favorite wildcat Brandon Hazenberg for a 75 yard touchdown with 2:50 remaining in the first quarter, the route was on. The numbers that Elliott put up that day are still astounding. He completed only 18 passes, yet passed for 363 yards and 5 touchdowns. He did not throw an interception and was not sacked. Linfield scored 34 points in the second quarter, which included a 79 TD yard pass to the speed demon George Carter and a 52 yard TD strike to Casey Allen. This game was simply beautiful.

(As a brief aside, I want to mention one thing about Hazenberg that has always bugged me. As I said earlier, I attended Linfield's 31-25 loss to SJU in the 2003 national quarterfinals. That year, the Johnnies featured a player very similar in style to Hazenberg and very similar in name to Gagliardi award winner Brett Elliott, Gagliardi award winner Blake Elliott. Blake was primarily a receiver and punt returner, but on this day, Linfield's db's were doing an extremely good job of keeping the ball from him. On the day he had 4 catches for 23 yards. SJU coach John Gagliardi knew that unless he got the ball, they would lose. So he found a sure-fire to get it to him- he stuck him in the backfield and handed it to him. Blake shredded the 'cat defense for 136 yards on 15 carries, almost all of them coming in the second half. It was the reason they won the game. In Linfield's 2005 loss to UWW in the national quarterfinals, our achilles heal was an inability to run the ball. I always wished that Jay Locey would have stuck Hazenberg in the backfield and handed him the ball. In that game, we rushed 17 times for 23 yards and Brett Elliott threw the ball 67 times. I think the Haze running it may have made the difference.)

#3. October 24 2009 Linfield College 30 @Willamette University 27
This game was just a few weeks ago, and maybe its freshness drives it towards the top of the list. All the same, this game, even over the computer and listening to the bearcat announcers, sounded intense. Like mega-intense. Norm Maves jr of the Oregonian called the playing field that day a "broiling cauldron" and while we know that while this game was not for all of the marbles, it was for a lot of them. Whoever won this game was going to go to the playoffs and the loser would be stuck biting their nails. On top of that, we had not beaten our newly crowned (due to the demise of the lutes) arch-enemy in 2 seasons. This game may have been about payback, but I think for the players it was for all the hard work this season, and for pride. I listened to this game at my in-laws house, which can be at times a frustrating yet rewarding experience. No one understands what d3 football is, as they seemingly think the only college football teams that exist are those in the bcs conferences. It can be rewarding though because if the cats win, I am in a good mood and I almost forget I am at my in-laws. I have listened to 3 games at my in-laws. The cats are 2-1. The games were this one, the above mentioned logger destruction, and the 2007 10-6 loss @whitworth which saw Scharer throw 5 picks. I just wish I would have been in Salem this day (probably the first time I ever wished I was in Salem) to see Aaron Boehme gliding over the turf- chewing up yards and securing our fist outright league title since 2005.

#2. September 20, 2003 Linfield College 47 @Southern Oregon University 42
This is an odlie but a great one, and arguably the best game in Linfield history. George Carter hauled in a Tyler Mathews pass with 1:28 seconds to go in the game to the give thecats the win, ending a contest that saw a kickoff returned for a TD, SOU great Dusty McGorty rush for 228 yards, and over 930 yards of offense. Tyler Mathews was amazing, connecting on 29 passes for 347 yards and 5 td's. 193 of thos yards and 3 of the touchdowns went to George Carter. This game was at night in Ashland, so it started even later in the midwest. I remember sitting, hanging on every word and just hoping that this game could jump-start a season much like we enjoyed in 2002. In the end, it did.

And the #1 game that I wish I had seen is....

#1. December 11, 2004 Linfield College 52 Rwan University 0
The buzz and excitement in the air was chill inducing and the overwhelming feeling that the 'cats were going to the national title game had the crowd at a fever pitch- and I am referring just to the atmosphere and crowd of 2 in my St Louis apartment. I can only imaging waht it was like at the actual catdome. I attended the previous round game versus Wisconsin-La Crosse, but this seemed like such an event. Even on the radio, I got that. On the excellent DVD put out by the college commemorating the championship season, I love the hilights of this game the most. As the purple flag waves in the stands, the crowd appears to be almost a part of the team- pushing them to play arguably their best game of the season. After the game ended, I felt a euphoria like I had played in it myself. Later that night we went to Jana's compnay christmas party, and they had a top shelf open bar and I won a $50 gift card to Buffalo Wild Wings. It might have been the greatest day of my life. The crowd left the dome that day feeling like the national title was ours, which it would be, and this was the perfect send-off for the team. Of all the games I have missed, I wanted to attend this one the most.

There you have it! For those of you that read all of this, I will buy you a beer next time I see you!

Maybe a bit excessive, and a lot premature, but this is still cool.

2009-11-17T13:34:00.000-08:00

And this is why Jimmy Kimmel is the true king of latenight

2009-10-29T07:28:00.001-07:00

The football season is in full swing. I swing both ways.

2009-10-13T08:07:00.001-07:00

So much to post about and so little time. You may be wondering to yourself, "Tyson has no job. He has no friends. He really does not have many interests, as far as I know. How is it that he has little time to post to his blog?" Well, I basically have the amount of time it takes for claire to wake up from her nap, which could be anywhere from 25 minutes to 90. I vote for 90, but my vote does really not count much in claire's book. Today is one of those days (and nights) where I have claire, for better or worse, overnight. Jana is in chicago and will not be back until wednesday night, so claire and I are on our own. We have done this before, but that was not the best experience, at least not for me. I am hoping to right my previous wrongs and make things better tonight. I have faith, at least more faith now that we have made the parenting decision to let her cry herself to sleep at night, as long as the crying lasts for a short time and is for no other reason than that she wants me to come back in and hold her. We will see how it goes.

I am going to begin posting mucho grande content this week. Football predictions will be back and also will picks and videos. Excited?? I am. Very. Just look at me. No- look lower.

Why can no one say anything bad about Jay Leno?

2009-06-02T07:02:00.001-07:00

Just a thought. The guys sucks, his show sucked, and the only parts that could be tolerated were ripped off from Stern. How come everyone in the media has to kiss his ass? Stupid.

Claire Update: Claire is getting so big, and she is changing and growing everyday. She has the 'holding her head up' part almost down-pat and she always uses her hands and arms to push herself up when on her stomach. Last night, she laughed heartily at something Jana was doing, big belly laughs that sounded a lot like short blasts from a machine gun. She loves listening to music in her crib now, especially the beatles, the rolling stones, and the beach boys. Her favorite song is 'strawberry fields forever.' Whenever I sing to her now she lights up and laughs as well, I am singing the ABC's to her everyday. Hopefully some of it is sinking in and she will be a smart little girl!

John and Kate are going to hell

2009-05-21T14:51:00.001-07:00

Hey! How are you? I am well, thanks for asking. What is that? Yes, you are correct. I have not posted in a long time. I have been a bit busy. Also, I have been trying to decide what direction this blog should take. I think it is going to return to its previous state, but also include many of my ruminations on what it is like to be a stay at home dad. Or a kept man. Or a stay at home kept dad. I am re-charging the batteries, so to speak, and will be back with a vengeance next week. I will be all vitriolic and crazy and act like a lunatic. Like many other bloggers. And I will make you laugh. And cry. And sweat. And bleed. Peace.

Follow me on twitter!
http://twitter.com/yves_beaulynxx

Vid time

2009-04-28T12:11:00.000-07:00

Claire conquers fireworks, Mets

2009-04-24T07:24:00.001-07:00

Here is a nice pic of claire enjoying a budweiser. The best thing about being a baby, in her opinion, is that since she needs to worry about gaining, not losing weight, she does not have to mess around with sissy light beer and can insteand go all the way with with Bud-Heavy. It is great to be a baby.

I guess I am starting to realize how easy claire really is, as we took her to the cards-mets game yesterday and really had a good time. I know a lot of people would rather shove sharp objects in their eyes or asses rather than take an 8 week old to a baseball game, but we thought she was up for the challenge. We were very much right. The weather was perfect for the game, and claire settled nicely into her sling for a good slumber through innings 1-5. Even when Albert HR'ed (twice), the fireworks they shot off, right above our heads, did little to faze her. She was not bothered by the loud cheering either. (if loud cheering had bugger her, we wouldstart taking her to KC Roylas games as there is very little cheering at those) After about 5 innings, we took her out of the sling and fed her a bottle. She loved seeing all of the people, and all the fun things to look at. She never fussed and celebrated big time when the cards won. When we got home she was very tired, but that meant she went to bed at 9pm and slept until 4am. Great news for mom and dad. I am buying cards season tickets!

The Blazers need this guy!

2009-04-21T15:20:00.000-07:00

Big game tonight, in fact, some might say a must win. I have little to say, except that I hope they blazers get it done. I have been researching possible 'hidden gems' for them to think about drafting in June, and I came up with this guy, whose picture is above. His name is Petr Other (Pay-Tar Oter is how it is pronounced) and he is the 27th leading scorer in the outer-slovakia C league. He is 5ft 10, 215 and had speed like a mildly arthritic schnauzer.

New pics of Claire are up on SmugMug!

Yes. We are talking about playoffs.

2009-04-16T07:10:00.000-07:00

And no, I am not talking about the St Louis Blues and their epic quest into (and probably soon out of) the NHL playoffs. I am talking about the Portland Trail Blazers and the NBA playoffs. While the NHL playoffs are nice, particularly because they do not tale gargantuan breaks between games, they are only #1 if the blazers are not in the NBA playoffs. I am very excited for the blazers, and they get homecourt advantage to boot. Houston is not the most ideal matchup for the team, but pdx is playing excellent. They can beat anyone. Particularly 7 ft asians.

Analysis to come!

easter sunday!

2009-04-12T07:28:00.000-07:00

Good Friday? I say it's the best!

2009-04-10T09:10:00.000-07:00

Wow! Yet another good friday is upon us, and I am stoked. Why? Because good friday is my favorite holiday. Some may choose their own birthday (selfish) or christmas (too commercial!) but give me a great good friday any day. Oh the memories I have of good friday's from my childhood. We would roast marshmallows around an open pit and dad would tell ghost stories. Then we would open open GF presents. Later we would all get naked, lather our bodies in crisco, and play a rousing game of 'schmeer the queer'. Those halcyon days may have been non-politically correct, but they sure were fun! Today Claire is experiencing her first GF. I have the crisco all ready for her tiny body.

Events of the day:
Tom and Chris arrive in Saint Louis. T and C are brining their wicked style and awesome sense of living to the STL for a visit with claire.

My new Motto: I am borrowing from acting Great Mat Mcconaughey; JK Living; Or JK livin;; Or Just keep living. Because if you are not keepin' livin' then you are dying. And who likes dying?

Sporting doubleheader:
Shitheads @ Blazers
Bluejackets at Blues.

Talk to you soon!

JK Livin'!

New Video: Claire can talk!

2009-04-08T10:28:00.000-07:00

This new video should satisfy those clamoring for one, and it contains a mighty revelation; Claire can Talk! Make sure you have the volume up, as she speaks her first words very early in the clip. Hope you enjoy it!

The beginning of the second part of the middle

2009-04-08T07:08:00.000-07:00

Hola. I am taking this quick moment to let all of my loyal readers know that I am reinvigorated and thusly will be blogging voraciously, (much like a half-starved retard after a long day of Wii boxing) and updating the world on my life, and the life of jana and claire. Some topics that I will cover:

Claire
The Portland Trail Blazers and the playoffs
Issues of the heart
The Howard Stern show

I am also nearly finished with my 'one man show' that I have been quietly working on and may publish parts of it here. You can also follow my amazing life on Twitter.

Now I must go and formulate quips.

New, old video from new and improved downloading process.

2009-04-03T08:13:00.000-07:00

I have started to download my videos to you tube, and then embed them here seeing as blogger video is not that reliable. This is an old(er) video, but will serve the purpose of testing my new method.

Yesterday was an April Fools Post.

2009-04-02T11:56:00.001-07:00

Jana is Pregnant Again!!!

2009-04-01T14:57:00.000-07:00

Hey Now!

2009-03-26T07:46:00.000-07:00

I am back, I took a quick furlough. A non-paid blogging vacation. We had a great time over the weekend visiting with claire's grandparents and now we are prepared for more basketball. If you follow me on twitter you can read about my imaginary vacation to Bali that I am currently on. We went out to dinner with Pat Miller a few nights ago and learned that he is unable to go anywhere or do anything without his girlfriends permission.

March Madness is driving me mad. Its making me crazy.

2009-03-20T06:20:00.000-07:00

Claire picked Duke to win the NCAA title. She told me she was inspired by the passion of their fans and the stalwart nature of the program. I pick no one as no one I pick ever wins the title. jana picks Pitt.

The Ganja Queen

2009-03-18T13:49:00.000-07:00

Just watched the outstanding HBO films doc entitled "Ganja Queen" regarding Schapelle Corby, an Australian woman sentenced to 20 years in a Bali prison for drug smuggling. Maddening and complicated, I would recommend it to all.

So sorry!

2009-03-17T11:58:00.001-07:00

Sorry that the video portion of this blog seems to be malfunctioning. I am having tete-a-tete with the head of blogspot this afternoon, so we shall see if we can resolve the problem. I am thinking of just outsourcing the videos to you tube, but it is a major business decision.

Claire is doing well. She has a dress on today because it warm out. She is going to walk around the block with us. She will be in her new peanut shell.

Oh yeah- it is st patrick's day and also my uncle jason's birthday. Big ups. Go out and get drunk and throw up and roofie someone. I mean that for all of you!

Part VII in which our hero claire goes to home depot and the grocery store!

2009-03-14T13:20:00.000-07:00

We took claire to home depot in hopes of turning here into a butch lesbian. I also bought some caulk.

At the store, everyone oooed and awed and said "she is so sexy and cute!" They were referring to jana. Everyone left claire alone.

Video:

claire video

2009-03-12T11:40:00.000-07:00

Here is a cute video of claire. she is being good today. I am going to get a colonic tomorrow. We will see if they allow me to take video. I doubt it.

Part VI in which our hero claire emerges from a milk coma and saves the day!

2009-03-12T06:53:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the lack of updates, Claire has been keeping us busy. Busy in a good way, not a screaming her head off way. She is trying to work out whether or not she wants to be awake during the day or sleep; whether or not she wants to fuss or quietly look around; whether or not she wants to fuss. She was stoked beyond all get out last night about Portland State making it to the tournament again, so it was a little hard to get her to settle. Today promises to be a fun day full of basketball.

I am reading "the kindly ones" a book that is a SENSATION in europe. It has been called both spectacular and pornographic. So far, I find it to be somewhere in the middle. Something has to be pretty damn pornographic before I get too up in arms. After all, I do have the internet.

Have you seen the woman who married the eifel tower? Very cool.

New Pics of Claire. They are in the gallery entitled 'new pics of claire'.

2009-03-09T12:16:00.000-07:00

Hi my name is Claire. I am a 2 week old baby. Thank you for visiting my blog. Since I am a young child, I am easily influenced. I think smoking is cool. I better go now. I am tired.

It's hot in st louis and claire is on fire!!

2009-03-07T14:05:00.000-08:00

Her trip to the dr was extraordinary and she was deemed the most amazing baby to ever be seen at cardinal glennon children's hospital. She also was given a clean bill of health, as she is now up to 8 pounds and 15 ounces- one more oz then when she was born. She celebrated by having a thick burger from Hardy's (Carls jr). Here is a hot video for you to celebrate.

Part V in which our hero Claire re-visits the doctor and receives a clean bill of health?

2009-03-06T07:33:00.000-08:00

Claire is 2 today! 2 weeks! Accordingly, she will see the doctor today and be giving the thumbs up or down. Mostly they are checking to see if she is gaining weight, but we are fairly confident that she is. She eats like a baby horse and appears to be getting some chubby cheeks. I doubt that we will have much exciting news to report, other than the fact that she is a healthy little baby. The weather is going to be awesome here this weekend- it may get close to 80 degrees today. Everyone is sick of the cold, and claire will even get to go outside. I am going to celebrate the good weather by staying in and watching basketball all weekend.

Claire will be able to bust out of her sleep and plays, and maybe wear some cool onesies this weekend. She needs to wear her Rolling Stones outfit before it is too small.

Peace and Love Peace and Love.

Robin Williams should just retire.

2009-03-05T15:41:00.000-08:00

I mean c'mom- they guy is a freak.

No new videos today, claire said she did not feel like appearing on camera. I am very tired as well. I am waking up at 5am everyday and feeling somewhat refreshed, even though we are going to bed around 12am. Oh well. I guess I should feel lucky that claire likes sleeping. She continues to do well at night, and never wakes up crying, only ooogling and doogling. She asked if we could get a subscription to The New York Times. I am not sure what that is about.

New Pics up on smugmug!!

claire in her quiet alert state.

2009-03-04T07:38:00.001-08:00

Sorry if you are sick of these videos.

Claire! Claire! Go Claire Go!

2009-03-03T13:44:00.000-08:00

The time has come today.

2009-03-03T07:01:00.000-08:00

Prior to the birth of baby claire (who once again slept great last night and performed admirably yet again) this blog was basically a bunch of my random thoughts, my ruminations, shit that I care about. On Twitter, you have people (myself included, although not very often) updating the world on what they are doing every second of the day, no matter how ridiculously mundane. Then there is facebook, the ultimate shrine to oneself and the wasted days and nights that we spend with our heads shoved up our own asses. Why do I bring this up? Because this is what is wrong with America. People now think that others give a shit about their boring ass crap simply because they can shoot it out into cyberspace at a moments notice, and gain immediate satisfaction through knowing that someone may inadvertently stumble across it and be wowed by the brilliance of such a sentient mind. There is no one around to call you a dip-shit. There is no one around to tell you your opinions are not special and one really cares. The reason twitter succeeds is because people pretend to care about others tweets because they want (desperately) to have people care about their own. As you are reading this post, you are probably thinking that my opinion is dumb and you could have said it better. People have over-inflated ego's, think they are special, and waste so much god damned time daily with crap that no one cares about. They are not filling roles in society, but trying to shape it, and failing miserably. We are a society of narcissists with wi-fi connections. It is time we realize we are douche-bags. The same thing happens if you are home-schooled. There is no one around to tell you you are average.

Back to the Claire blog- She is great!

Meditations on a new baby

2009-03-02T07:56:00.001-08:00

It has been a long time since I have given the world one of my outstanding posts, ruminating on life and love and filling my loyal readers in on my thoughts. This may be one of those posts, I am not sure. We will see where it goes. It is cold here and I am hot about it. I wish that spring would roll in and engulf us like a lamb or a lion, I am not really sure how that cliche works. Claire is doing well in the cold, she has vowed to not go outside until it warms up. We make her wear gloves at night, but she always manages to get one of them off. She continues to sleep well.

The Mizzou loss to kansas was a bit sad, but not altogether crushing. Mizzou was a bit overrated and that loss shows them what they are going to have to do this last bit of the season and into the tourney. KU's crushing loss will come, and when it does it will be sweet. Mizzou needs to gear up for oklahoma on wednesday. That is the most important game of the season now.

Claire's umbilical stump fell off, which is cause for a party. I think she was happy about it, but she does not realize that means she will now have to have a bath! The joke is on you claire!

Jimmy Fallon debuts tonight after leno, I think I will have to check that out.

I am sorry that this did not really contain any meditations on the new baby. I just thought the title sounded high minded. I am going to re-use it for sure.

New Pics Available!

2009-03-01T15:45:00.000-08:00

They are very cute and well-taken. Probably in that order. Check the shorty out at smugmug.

Claire and her parents are alone together.

2009-03-01T07:24:00.000-08:00

Grandma Yodeman left on Friday, so for this entire weekend (which, as I type, is still ongoing) has been spent with just our tight nuclear family. Or nuukulerr as W would say. Things have been going quite well though as Claire appears to like watching basketball and napping, which are in fact two of Jana's favorite things as well. Claire's affections will be on the line this afternoon as KU and Mizzou battle it out on the basketball court, but I do not have the highest hopes for the Tigers as the game is in Lawrence. She continues to be a good sleeper, and prefers to wake us up by making little noises rather than huge cries. She is a beautiful little girl and even cuter than I ever thought she would be. Her is her latest staring role.

PART IV In which our hero claire watches Oklahoma state versus Texas and hopes with all of her baby heart that the evil cows from Austin are defeated.

Part III Where are hero claire appears in a straight to blog video focused on sleeping...

2009-02-27T06:52:00.000-08:00

Calire had an OK/pretty good night last night. She was fussy for a but settled in around 1:30am. This video details her reaction to the financial crisis and stimulus options...

The last hospital video.

2009-02-26T13:11:00.001-08:00

It may be a bit like Godfather III- anticlimactic. Still funny and good though....

claire is a smugmugger and tree-hugger

2009-02-26T11:44:00.001-08:00

More of claire can be seen at our smugmug page! Over 20 new photos added! Yippeeee!

Part II in which our hero Claire gathers fortitude and heroically sleeps through the night

2009-02-26T05:49:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a great day to be a baby, especially if you are Claire. She had a doctors appointment in the morning, and she was the belle of the childrens hospital. After her appointment, in which she was granted a clean bill of health, she spent a leisurely day lounging around the home in sleepwear, with occasional respites for farting, burping, eating, pooping. She ate a late 4th diner at 11pm, slept until 3am, ate and then slept until nearly 7am. Jana remarked that she was not even all that tired, but quickly snapper herself across the face and snapped out of it, knowing not every night will she be so taciturn. She is a funny little girl prone to sleeping with her hands over her head and showing periods of great will. She is beautiful to look at her, and very warm to the touch. I know that we will have good nights and bad nights, but at least for this morning, last night was great. Lets celebrate- is 7:50am to early for a margarita?

Claire Conquers the Doctor!

2009-02-25T14:52:00.000-08:00

Claire was a great baby at the doctor. No crying, no fussing, and plenty of looking cute. We were not the screaming people baby! She has been very good so far today, sleeping with me while I watched 'the amazing race' and also letting jana get a bit of rest. It was a big day for her. The doctor told us the flu has been especially bad in st louis this year, so we are to be very careful about taking her out. Germ infected people may breathe on her! Her debut to the world is going to put on hold for a few weeks!

A video- a bit on the 'old side'

2009-02-25T06:06:00.000-08:00

I wanted to get all of these out there though....

Claire discovers her inner scream Or How Claire woke up and started being a real baby.

2009-02-25T05:39:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was Claire's 5th day birthday, and on this day she started to act more age appropriate. I think it was the perfect storm of factors that contributed to this- a bit of over-stimulation (too many new sights, sounds, smells, people holding her), a new digestive system that is now being bombarded with great, nutritious milk, and the discovered ability to get her little body so wound up that she screams at the top of her baby lungs. Upon birth, her Apgar score was dinged a point lower because she did not cry hardly. She is making up for lost time. I know that she is being a normal baby, and I know this is what babies do. Around 9pm last night, she decided that 5-6 hours of fussing was in order, but you could have seen the warning signs coming all day. She is finally burping, pooping, and peeing all day long and this is certainly contributing to her less than happy little baby mood. Jana did well last night, but she has already nixed any possible outing today, other than the doctor. But hey- she is only 6 days old! (The baby, not jana.) I was a bit frustrated. I have never been around any baby, much less a very fussy one. It was cute though when I would hold her and get her to calm down a bit and put her cheek next to mine- tears would just be streaming down and she would be heaving! (Claire's cheeks, not mine.) Grandma Chris told us that this is what having a baby is REALLY like. The doctor visit is coming. I bet we are THOSE people with the screaming, yelling baby. Oh well.

Video Exclusive- Claire hiccups and the world stops to watch!

2009-02-24T14:30:00.000-08:00

By demand, more pics.

2009-02-23T17:39:00.001-08:00

Just after Claire is born. I shoot video and act non-chalant.

2009-02-23T12:19:00.000-08:00

The Brief Life of Claire- A journey in pictures and a few words

2009-02-23T11:51:00.001-08:00

href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_LMmAiAhgBxY/SaMAi6Ww0XI/AAAAAAAAADQ/fc7U4gcbLYY/s1600-h/P2220300.JPG">
Here is the pretty girl herself, all pensive and brooding. Right now she is thinking. "Who the hell are these people, and why do they expect me to go home with them? I wonder if Angelina and Brad are looking for an auburn haired newborn to add to the family?"

Claire was born on Friday February 20th, and this sign confirms what we all have come to learn. She is a girl. I really learned she was a girl when I took off her diaper and she peed. Instead of the pee flying through the air, getting in my mouth and hair, it gently dribbled out and onto the changing pad. It was beautiful. I also know she is a girl because she has a lot of shoes and a penchant for nagging.

Here I am holding Claire. Believe it or not, Claire is the first baby I have ever held, and I was a bit worried I would cause bodily harm. I was scared. Guess which one of us in the picture just shit their pants? Hint: He has on a Mizzou sweatshirt.

After two days of living in the hospital, Jana is finally rid of the gown and in her own clothes. We three were ready to go home! As you can see in the picture, she is already pregnant again. Without ESPN, the boredom was too much and we made another baby.

Claire arrives home, triumphant! She looks confused and scared. Annie was quickly confused and over-enthusiastic about smelling her new sisters butt.

Claire is a happy little baby! Three days in and we have yet to shatter her dreams!

Claire arrives at the web nursery.

2009-02-23T09:45:00.000-08:00

The web nursery is basically a nursery on the web. It is a baby nursery, not a plant nursery. By going to this link, you can see the pics that were taken of her by the hospital staff. She looks very cute in a great number of them!

http://tinyurl.com/cl8oo3

When all seemed quiet, jana thought she was getting the flu...

2009-02-22T15:05:00.000-08:00

Claire Elizabeth shocked the nation and decided she wanted to enter this world the old fashioned way. She was born at 7:01am on Friday February 20th, and as I write this, both baby and jana are comfortably lounging and sipping on pina coladas. Don't worry- Claire's is virgin! I am currently sifting through the pictures and videos and will be posting them soon.

We were all set for the c-section on wednesday the 25th, and in fact, I had made dinner reservations for our final saturday of freedom. Who knew that my final freedom-filled saturday would be spent sleeping on a couch with plastic cushions wondering why the hospital gets 30 channels, including the Golf Network, but not ESPN!? Not even a brief separation from my remote-control could get me down though, as I was finally introduced to my very beautiful daughter. She truly is the sweetest, smartest, prettiest, most well-adjusted baby anywhere. All the doctors told us so.

Jana came home from work early on wenesday and told me she thought she was getting the flue. Now all of you savvy moms out there know that 'flu like symptoms' are actually 'baby making way down the love canal trail' like symptoms, but we were uninitiated. A quick call to the doctor revealed that the nausea may be real, but it comes not from a bad burrito, but rather from a somewhat burrito shaped baby. Jana stayed up all night with increasingly painful contractions while I slept. I needed all of the strength I could muster to drive us to the hospital.The contractions got closer together, and by 7pm on Thursday, it was go time.

Jana deserves an double cheeseburger value meal for the heroic performance she put down at the hospital. I will not trouble you with all the details, but needless to say she was an all-star. And not a flash in the pan all star either, but a Clyde Drexler like stalwart. We were released from the hospital 48 hours after birth and that means two things- the nurses were tired of my constant demands and that Claire and Jana are both in excellent health and ready to finish recouping in their own beds. Pictures are coming soon. Claire is the first baby I have ever held, and I have not even sunk a finger into her soft spot yet. yay for me! Talk to you soon.

A few photos before I go back to the hospital...

2009-02-20T12:00:00.001-08:00

If you are considering becoming a pimp

2009-02-18T08:20:00.000-08:00

Then you need to find some ho's to pimp out. You also need a pimp name. Generate one here:
http://www.playerappreciate.com/pimphandle.asp

My pimp name is President Tyson Gates. Not sure why. I also like my other name Trick Magnet Humble Trump. I think I will go with that one. I am quite the trick magnet.

If you are thinking of moving to Brazil to become a professional soccer player, then you will need one name. Like Pele, or Socrates, or Romario. Get your Brazilian soccer name here:
http://www.minimalsworld.net/BrazilName/brazilian.shtml

My name is Tysito. I would prefer Kaka.

We have a hostage situation!

2009-02-17T07:55:00.000-08:00

THe hostage is Jana's body, and the situation is coming to a head. It looks, for all intents and purposes, that we are going to have to resort to an age-old negotiation/tactic. "Come out- or We are coming in!!". It also appears that the coming in is set for next Wednesday, February 25th, at 7:30 am CST. This hostage situation will more than likely have a happy ending, and we will gain a bouncing baby girl. The over/under for her weight was set last night, after much deliberation by all of the oddsmakers in Las Vegas. The +/- is set at 10 pounds 6 ounces. I am taking a solid over on this one.

Love McNuggets? Want to get drunk? Yes Please!

2009-02-17T06:55:00.000-08:00

http://thisrecording.com/2008/04/08/in-which-georgia-gives-you-the-mcnuggetini/

I have to post the link above and give all due credit where credit is due- this drink sounds like the best invention since the 'Mc-Surf-and-Turf Classic'. (For the un-initiated, the McST is when you buy a filet o' fish and a Big Mac and split the BM in half, placing in the middle the filet o' fish. You then replace the top half of the BM and enjoy!) All those who know me know that I have had a lifelong love affair with McDonalds. I do not eat McDonlds daily, although that would be nice, but I cannot go a solid month without the salty, sugary, sexual fantasticness that is my favorite restaurant. I eat in moderation, so my intake of this particularly American food does not interfere with my overall svelt-ness. In fact, I cannot wait until Claire is old enough to enjoy a happy meal. On that day, our father-daughter bond will truly be rock solid.

Anyway, the 'Mcnuggetini' is the latest invention that takes the worlds greatest food to a whole new level and I say 'GOD BLESSS' these two fine woman who invented it. What you do is take a McDonalds vanilla milkshake, absolut vanilla vodka and mix in a shaker. You then rim a martini glass in bar-b-que sauce and garnish with two chicken mcnuggets. That sounds lovely. That sounds like heaven.

Wildcat Video!

2009-02-13T08:06:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking a lot about Linfield football lately, and so I find myself posting this video. We are at a critical juncture for 'cat football, just like the team was in 1992. This GREAT team would lose in the national title game, but they had an amazing run up until that point. Ryan Carlson dug up this video and re-engineered and posted it on youtube and his amazing website. I doubt he will mind me re-posting for the enjoyment of all you 'cat fans.

I remember a lot of the 1992 season like it was yesterday, particularly the first game of the season- a 14-7 win versus the lutes. Many things stand out about this video, particularly the games versus Simon Fraser and OIT, which have long ago gone the way of the dodo. I also love the throwback pass to QB Shannon Sells that you see a few times, and the fact that Lewis and Clark was competitive. In fact, they appear in part two of this video compilation, as the wildcats play them twice this season. Yes. The pios made the playoffs. Look for current coach Joseph Smith, back when he was known as Joe, to make a great play versus Simon Fraser.

Happy Friday the 13th and Spooky Valentine's Day!

2009-02-13T07:48:00.001-08:00

The weekend is upon us, and we get out first of two consecutive months with a 'friday the 13th'. In honor of this ever-so spooky day, a Michael Bay made remake of the horror classic 'friday the 13th' hits theaters. From what I hear, it is pretty good. Jana and I will be celebrating the 13th by heading out to a nice dinner, and we will celebrate Valentine's day by avoiding black-cats and being sure to not walk under any ladders. This pregnancy has us all mixed up.

The c-section is scheduled for February 25th, ash wednesday (whatever the hell that is), at 7:30am CST. Jana is probably going to take Monday and Tuesday off from work and begin her maternity leave that week. If the wee little baby decides she wants to peek her head out and show herself to the world prior to the 25th, then she will be allowed to arrive naturally. At this point, it anatomically does not look like that is going to happen, but you never know. The baby does appear to be very comfortable in her watery home right now. As I have previously stated, this month does seem to be dragging on. And on. Yet she is set to arrive two days before her due date, all the same. In the words of Seal, Crazy.

Update on the baby, with pictures!

2009-02-12T07:07:00.000-08:00

Jana is doing fine, but this pregnancy, which has still not come full term for another two weeks, is beginning to draaaaaaaaaaaaaag. And go on. And on. And then seem a bit long. There are no more empty boxes in the house, I have put everything together and the nursery is done. I have come to grips with my impending total loss of freedom. Lets get this baby out. The baby may have to be delivered by caesarean section, her shoulders are getting a bit big. I will have more info. on that as it is delivered to me. My thoughts on c-sections are that if they were good enough for julius caesar and brittney spears then it is good enough for us. Do yourself a favor and go to youtube and watch joaquin phoenix's appearance on letterman last night. Words cannot describe, although if it is performance art, then it is very cool.

Here is a picture of jana that I snapped just last night. Her stomach is getting pretty big. To make her feel better we got her some lip injections.

I have isolated the most annoying sound in the world...

2009-02-11T06:10:00.000-08:00

As a public service, I will reveal the most annoying sound in the world. After years of research, listening to a lot of VERY annoying things, while watching the Grammy awards I was suddenly hit with the realization- like a bolt of lightning. A bolt of lightning! The most annoying sound in the world: Neil Diamond singing, particularly live, 'sweet caroline'. Ughhhh. I feel skeevy just thinking about it. What makes this song so horrible is that we have all enjoyed it at some time in our lives. For a portion of the group, this enjoyment came after the age of 60/ For the other part of the group this enjoyment came after 6 or 10 shots of tequila. A song so universally enjoyed must suck- it is a fact. It can have nothing contemporary or interesting. It is milquetoast.

I have also pinpointed the most annoying part of the song, and in Diamond's defense, it is not a part he actually sings. The most annoying part is during the chorus, when diamond sings 'good times never feel SO GOOD...' and the mixed 50/50 drunk and elderly crowd must repeat back, at the top of their grating lungs, 'SO GOOD SO GOOD'. It is at times like this that the sweet release of death sounds comforting. Please people, help defeat this horrible song. At your next mitvah or reception, just say no. Just say no to this musical abortion.

The 'Cats shall Rise Again!

2009-02-10T07:51:00.000-08:00

Baby Watch 2009!

2009-02-10T06:37:00.001-08:00

In my mind, there are two kinds of people in this world; those who find the film "Anchorman" hilarious and give it the credit it is due, placing it along side such films as "saving private ryan" in the pantheon of great American movies. Then there are those people who find it annoying. If you belong to the latter, I feel really sorry for you. I am not sure what this has to do with anything, just thought I would state my feelings on people.

Jana is getting very tired of being pregnant. It has taken over 9 long months, but the fatigue has finally set in. She wants the baby outside of her body instead of inside. The baby's movements in the womb have become kind of creepy as opposed to cute and affirming, and the nursery is pretty much ready for a tiny human to move into it. Right now, all Jana and I hope is that the baby waits until after Friday night to be born. On Friday, we are going out to dinner at our favorite restaurant, Eleven Eleven Mississippi, and I want to enjoy that before our life ends and we become chained to a baby. (just kidding. kind of) Jana goes to the doctor wednesday, so we will know about the possibilities of birth coming soon, or impending inducement, or whatever else could happen. Yeah!

Good prevails over evil- Missouri defeats ku

2009-02-10T06:15:00.000-08:00

Three years ago to the day that the mizzou program had sunk to the depths of despair thanks to that pill-head Quinn Snyder, they rose from the ashes and vanquished the evil jayhawks at the Mizzou arena. It truly was an incredible game, and the tigers (after only scoring 16 pts in the first half and trailing by 14) showed that heart and hustle can win you a basketball game. The path to the win can be found in the stats, particularly the telling number of turnovers in the 2nd half- mizzou had 3, ku had 13- and 27 in the game. For the first time in many years, the crowd in Columbia had something to get excited about and the players did not let them down. Leo Lyons had a bad game, but he made some big shots at the end, and DeMarre Carroll did everything he could. JT Tiller played great defense. Mizzou sits at 8-2 in the Big 12- who knows where this team can go!

On a related note, happy birthday to Chris Herrmann. The proud graduate of University of California- Berkley turns 42 today!

Roy buzzer beater keeps blazers fragile shell from cracking.

2009-02-09T06:24:00.000-08:00

The blazers lead the Knicks by 17 in the 3rd quarter. Things were going well- Greg Oden was dominating. All of the sudden, the blazers defense joined the spotted owl and went away, and they trailed by 13 with 8 minutes to go. Then they trailed by 7 with 1:45 left. The blazers are a hungry, talented team that is also extremely fragile. They are a slightly chubby girl- they know they have issues but they need positive reinforcement to drop the last 15 pounds. Losing this game to the knicks may have driven them straight to the twinkies and the ding-dongs. Thank God for Brandon Roy. They crawled back and all is happy in Portland again.

Obamas very intimate. Enjoy fisting eachother.

2009-02-06T09:04:00.000-08:00

I originally heard this on Howard yesterday morning, and it is too great to not post. I am not sure what Fox affiliate this is from...

My Final Word on Phelps and the Ganja

2009-02-06T07:35:00.000-08:00

Kathleen Parker, syndicated columnist who writes primarily for the Washington Post, has a great column today that appeared in my local paper and might be in your op-ed section. Basically she argues that the problem is not really Phelps elevating his consciousness with the help of Mr Bong, but rather the antiquated and plain stupid laws, derived by THE MAN, that keep Joe Public from smoking the natural herb. Her best argument though deals with marijuana and its status as a 'gateway drug'. By now, most intelligent people realize that the idea that just because someone smokes weed they will probably be seeking a vein and shoving heroin into it is patently false. Parker argues that the only possible way that marijuana could be a gateway drug is due to the asinine, slightly humorous, pedantic, and pathetic efforts put forth by anti-drug crusaders in their 'anti-pot' commercials. These commercials are so lame, that once a teen discovers that his life will in fact not be horribly disfigured if he takes one puff of weed that he will then begin to wonder if other harder, and more dangerous, drugs are really not so bad. If THE MAN lies about weed then maybe he is lying about meth? Or cocaine? Some food for thought, just in case you have the early morning munchies.

I suck at writing reviews.

2009-02-06T06:31:00.000-08:00

I am a competent writer, but I am bad at writing reviews. It is a skill that I respect, basically because I know how hard it is to do and make it seem natural. That being said, the following is not a review, but rather an opinion and a recommendation.

There was a time in my life when I saw EVERY movie. Marathon days at the cineplex were my bag, and I would even go and see the same movie multiple times in the theater. (movie I saw 4 times: Lord of the Rings: The fellowship of the ring). I have still seen more movies that most of the population, but my time at the movies has gone from a torrent to a trickle over the past 5 years. Anyway, that being said, I went and saw a movie yesterday, and boy was it damn good. I saw 'The Wrestler' with Mickey Rourke and Marissa Tomei. What an incredible movie. It is a true pleasure to watch and one of the better movies that I have seen in a long time. The moral underpinnings of the movie and the underlying meaning is easily discernable and the acting of the two lead characters (both nominated for Academy awards) drives home all of these points. The acting is flat out great. The wrestling scenes are well done, and not at all stupid, or over the top. For the squeemish, there is a scene in which Randy the Ram wrestles in a 'hardcore' match that I found totally awesome but others may find very disturbing. Potato-Tomato I say. Hardcore wrestling aside, this movie is a true achievement.

NOTE: Throughout my life, I have been a huge wrestling fan. I stopped watching around 2003, but by that time I had devoted close to 14 years of my life watching the action. I was a devotee. And yes, I knew it was fake. 99.9% of wrestling fans know it is fake, those not knowing it being under the age of 7. People who point towards its inherent fakeness as a reason not to watch are entirely missing the point. That being said, I have also seen literally 20+ of my favorite wrestlers from the 1980's and beyond die premature deaths. They have died from the decades of drug abuse and hard living virtually required if you are going to be a success in the sport. Wrestling may be fake, but it destroys your body. Unlike even the oft criticized NFL, there is no union, no pension, no one who cares about these guys once their usefulness in the ring is gone. Vince McMahon is a great businessman and has turned wrestling from a sideshow into a certifiable industry juggernaut. He is also a scumbag who chews up and spits out wrestlers. Their deaths are not entirely his fault. But he is a facilitator and a provider. 'The Wrestler' is a story about a washed up wrestler on the down-side of his career, so it had particular meaning to me.

I think anyone would like this movie though, although maybe some may 'get it' more than others. I give this movie 4.5/5 stars. I am proud to say that I have never cried because of a film, but I was emotional at the end of this great, great movie. Darren Aronofsky was robbed of a best director nomination at the oscars. A lot of movies I like, but this movie is memorable. 'The Wrestler' is an awesome film.

You know when you used to go bowling a lot...

2009-02-06T06:19:00.000-08:00

Well, for me, the big decision was whether to choose the 10 pound ball or the 12 pound ball. (This decision was actually tougher when I used to bowl in high school. Once you discover bowling drunk, the ball decision somehow seems less complex). I bring this up, because I want you to think back and remember how heavy that 10 pound ball felt in your hands. How it could easily crack a skull or a floor or fling into the gutter, completely ruining your final frame. Anyway, it looks like jana and I are well on our way to a 10 pound baby. I will be the father of said baby, jana will actually have to push it through the birth canal. The great news is that the baby is completely healthy and looks great. She has a well proportioned body that is big all over- big head, big stomach, big torso. She is a big, little girl. Right now, three weeks from the due date, she weighs in at 8 punds 12 oz, give or take a half pound. Babies gain 8 oz per week in utero, so at that rate she will come in right around the 10 pound mark! Hey- according to all of the guru's and Jana's own Dr. Smith, bigger babies have more developed systems, eat more, and therefore sleep more. Sounds alright by me. Really though- were jana and I ever going to have a small baby? A 6 pounder shooting out of Jana would have somehow seemed cruelly ironic. The due date of the 27th is still our target. Jana is showing little signs of pre-labor. This baby should come close to the due day, with a chance that inducement could take place if Claire is appearing reticent to travel the long road to reality.

Here is the last sonogram pic that we will get of claire. Our sonographer Jan did not take too many pics this time, and claire was covering her face, so the pic is not great. You can still see her face though. Her head is down in jana's stomach and her butt is up at the top of her torso. You can often see her butt poking out as we watch television.

For Hardcore Fans Only! Showering with your Relatives!

2009-02-04T10:25:00.001-08:00

Here is a video of the shower that we attended over the weekend in Tulsa, OK. The production value is low, and many of the characters will appear unfamiliar to you. Watch it in a comfortable chair, and feel like you were at the shower. The shower was amazing. Literally fucking amazing. I will post more about it in a bit, but enjoy this video in the meantime. Think of it as an amuse-bouche, think of it as an appetite wetter, think of it as art. I present to you...."Showering with your relatives."

Phelps smokes weed- cut the major dork some slack.

2009-02-02T06:26:00.000-08:00

I think it is funny that all of the media is referring to Phelps marijuana smoking device as a pipe, when it is clearly a bong. Maybe, by not stating that is a bong, and instead calling it a pipe, they are distancing themselves from drug culture and the ultimate evils of marijuana usage. I doubt that this will really effect his life or career in the long run, but right now people will act like he is a the devil, his life is over, and after smoking the weed he was out raping grandmas. Smoking weed is illegal, and Phelps should know better than to let people have access to him while he is getting down with the ganja. Beyond that though, to deny that many people that our country admires have or currently do smoke marijuana is naive. If the stuff was legal, as it should be, then he would be dinged for a minor lack in judgment rather than lynched and vilified. Michael Phelps is clearly a major dork, a major "swimming nerd" who had no friends while growing up. Now that he has fame, he is taking advantage of being one of the 'cool kids'. He has the keys to ferrari, the parents are gone, and he has just earned a license to drive. Cut him some slack- it is simply another example of GIANT dorks ruling the world.

The Super Bowl

2009-02-02T06:02:00.001-08:00

I am writing this game without the benefit/hindrance of reading what the many paid pundits have to say. I will read what they say later, but for now, this is how I feel after sleeping on it. It was a tremendous game, maybe the greatest Super Bowl of all time, and definitely in the top 5. It featured the most thrilling end-game in all of the biggest of games, and was maybe the best final 15 minutes of any sporting event ever. Remember when the Super Bowl was always a blow-out? Those days are long gone, and the Super Bowl becoming consistently great is the reason why it has surpassed all other sports as the most American of all of our games.

I cannot help but feel bad for the Cardinals. Minus the penalties, which were the only real black mark on the game, they played great and really took on the persona of their leader- Kurt Warner. They were down and out, and people were doubting them, but they came back and they nearly finished the job. Up until the final drive, in which the steelers proved that they really are the best team in the league, the cards defense were the heroes of the game. To have TWO stands inside the 10 yard line defies NFL logic, but they could not get that one sack on Ben when they needed it most. Big Ben's ability to scramble really won the game for Pittsburgh. He consistently was flushed from the pocket, under amazing pressure, and he got away. Almost every time.

Well, I do not want to go on and on and repeat in a less fluid way what many are saying. Larry Fitzgerald is the best receiver in football. The game was great, I wish the cards would have won, but the end of the game was a gift in and of itself. Football is king.

When the world series ends, I breathe a sigh of relief, thankful it is over. I doubt I am alone. How many people wouldn't want to watch these same two teams get together next sunday and do it again?

Yes. That is me whose letter-to-the-editor was published in Sports Illustrated.

2009-01-28T13:06:00.000-08:00

I feel that thousands will buy the February 2nd issue of SI based on my letter. And I will still be a loser who blogs to no one. Cheers! (although the letter is pretty much a truncated version of a previous blog entry...)
Peace and love, Peace and love.

David Beckham knew the level of play in MLS would be bad, but not this bad.

2009-01-28T09:09:00.000-08:00

Sorry for all the explosive bloggarhea today, (I just 'made up' that word, but only in my own mind, I am sure. I would bet that people have long ago coined this term to describe it when words shoot our of your fingertips at a rapid rate, much like when ass-piss shoots out of your butt after a long round of burrito eating), but I digress. I just read the article on espn.com about how David Beckhm wishes in his heart that he could stay at AC Milan and no longer toil in the MLS. I will now translate a few of his quotes, so you my loyal reader, can easily discern what he really means.

Beckham: "To play here (AC Milan) is the dream of any player," said Beckham in an interview with Corriere della Sera. "But deciding is not easy; it's a situation that requires time."

WHAT HE MEANS: Deciding is, in fact, very easy. I have already decided. When I got to Milan, my decision was pretty much made. I want to stay in Italy, and I want to never return to the LA Galaxy. The only problem is that I have a contract and made a BIG FLIPPIN' deal over ending my career in the US and growing the game to levels only whispered about by soccer nerds on www.bigsoccer.com. I want out though, but I also do not want to piss off Tom Cruise and Will Smith.

Beckham: "I am under contract and I have a lot of respect for Galaxy. But the possibility to play at Milan is something special. I knew I would have fun but I didn't expect to have so much fun."

WHAT HE MEANS: The contract is the only thing keeping me enslaved by the Galaxy, but my team of high powered lawyers are currently working day and night, looking for any way to get me out of the deal while not looking like a total asshole- the same deal which 2 years ago I treated as an unbelievable dream.

Beckham: "The truth is that the Americans are doing everything to improve the level and reputation of their football. The league in the USA is young. I think 10 years have to go by to achieve results."

WHAT HE MEANS: I knew that the level of play would be bad, but this bad??? Give me a fucking break. I am playing against guys who were not even first team all district- at their crappy US high schools. Ughhhh.

Beckham: "I have to admit that, having played in Europe, at times it has been frustrating to take part in certain games (in America)," he said. "But once in a while, going from state to state, I have also had fun."

WHAT HE MEANS: When I first got to the Galaxy, it was fun because everyone made such a big deal out of me and my family. After having the british press tire of me, it was great to be hot-shit again. But, you have to absolutely be kidding me? Playing San Jose in a college stadium in front of a bunch of drunk idiots who think being a 'true' soccer fan means pissing in a newspaper so you do not miss any of the action?! And the US Open cup?? Oh god, somebody shoot me. I have to play, because I am the franchise, but toiling away on a horrible field versus a PDL team on par with the same team I played on when I was 8?!! Give me AC Milan or give me death.

Beckham: "I feel Milan is very similar to Manchester United," he said. "It has that kind of tradition that only great clubs have."

WHAT HE MEANS: The MLS may need 10 years to really have high quality play, but they need 1,000 years to reach the level of MUFC or Milan.

Beckham: "At times you need weeks or even months to understand how a team plays and trains," he said. I have to say that many people have done a lot of work to make me feel at home, I have been welcomed with open arms."

WHAT HE MEANS: After sharing the field with players that frankly, suck. I thought I would need some time to get used to actually playing good soccer. I was surprised though. The MLS has not completely sucked the soul out of my soccer life.

Bye Bye MLS!

Direct TV- why must you forsake me?

2009-01-28T08:45:00.000-08:00

My satellite dish is snow covered and not functioning. I have my DVR'd stuff though; I have sirius. Chivas Regal, nice to meet you. My name is Tyson.

(update- my dish was only on the skids for 45 minutes or so. I would almost prefer to be in Portland with this kind of snow though because everyone here just drives and drives like nothing happened. The intersection of flad/lawrence has been gridlocked for 2 hrs with 3 stuck cars, cars that only have rear wheel drive.)

Listening to: Marrakesh Express/ Cosby, Stills & Nash.

Large Amounts of white powder.

2009-01-28T07:38:00.001-08:00

We received about 7 inches of snow last night- it all came very quickly, and really blanketed everything. It is damn cold here, so the snow is very powder-like, and very difficult to melt. You can move it from one place to another, but getting rid of it is another story. The temp is not supposed to get above freezing for 4-5 days, so we better get used to to it. I woke up bright and early and took a cranky Annie around the block. I then got to shovel. And shovel. And dig. And swear. And pant. And sweat. We live on a corner, and many people say to us "Ahhhh. Too bad, I would not like to live on a corner." I shake my head at them and decide they are complete morons, because 99% of the time, I like corner living. You get to see all the comings and goings, and I think it would be very difficult to rob a house on the corner. What is someone going to do? Carry my big ass TV out the front door in full view of a busy 4-way stop? The one percent of the time that it royally stinks though is in snow. You have 75% more sidewalk to shovel than anyone else. I also had to dig out Jana's car. I did it early though because (apparently) a booming growth industry in St Louis is door-to-door snow shoveling. I saw no less than 10 people walking around trying to get lazy homeowners to offer them a fair wage to shovel. By doing it early, I avoid incessant doorbell ringing. Plus I get to be alone with my thoughts, and a shovel, and my high blood pressure and fat ass. Nirvana, nearly.

Jana is still going to the doctor today at 11am. She should be fine, as long as she gets out of the neighborhood. I explained to her last night all of the reason's we should not go to Tulsa, and she looked somewhat swayed. The big thing though is that her family generally disregards her opinion, so to strongly assert one would take everyone by shock. I am all for delivering shockers to my in-laws.

Mood: Peckish

Snowed in. Kind of.

2009-01-27T07:06:00.001-08:00

Well, we got about 4 inches of snow last night and more is on the way. It is currently icing, which gives me a not very fresh feeling, but it is supposed to turn to snow. The roads are not that bad, and Jana could have made it to work, but I said "what is the point of being 9 months pregnant if you cannot use it as an excuse to work from home?" I need to shovel the sidewalks, which when you live on a corner, is much more laborious than it has to be. I am going to wait until the snow stops. PET PEEVE ALERT: I hate it when I see people shoveling their sidewalks, not their drives, when it is supposed to snow 5 more inches. You then have to shovel twice. Dumb asses. They are the reason so many people have heart attacks while shoveling.

I am working on entries on Amanda Knox and Michael Peterson, the infamous Staircase Killer (maybe). I am pretty much decided on my thoughts regarding Peterson, but I want to watch part 8 of the documentary concerning his case in case it shakes anything lose.

A long day of heavy drinking awaits, so I am sure you will here from us again!

There is a state of emergency in all Oklahoma counties, wonder if we will make it? Jana's mom may have an exploded head if we do not come, so we may have to hook Annie up to the front of the Honda and MUSH MUSH MUSH. She would not like that though, as when I walk her in the snow, she stops every 50 feet and holds up her paw and looks at me, almost wondering why I am torturing her.

Brian Williams apologizes to beavers. No word on otters.

2009-01-26T08:58:00.000-08:00

The following letter to the editor appeared on today's 'oregonian'. (January 26, 2009)

An apology from NBC News

To the Oregon State Community,
My sincere apology. Whatever you have called me over the past few days can't be any worse than my own anger over my mistake. I made an inexcusable error when I confused the great OSU coach Craig Robinson with a friend of mine, the personal assistant to President Obama, Reggie Love. I am sending personal apologies to both men, and this is my apology to all members of Beaver Nation. It was a mistake committed during 9 hours of live programming -- I was distracted and watching many incoming video feeds, but that's no excuse for the error, which was no one's fault but mine. I have felt awful about it since, I forced myself to read the coverage of it on OregonLive.com, and I hope that someday you can find it in your hearts to forgive my error.

Respectfully,
Brian Williams
Anchor and Managing Editor, NBC Nightly News

Interesting, I suppose. I was waiting for him to say he really does not think all black people look the same, but sadly he did not. I still do not get one thing though- if he is such good friends with Reggie Love, how could he mix him up with Craig Robinson? If I had any really good friends, I bet that I would know what they look like.

Kenny Wheaton is Gonna Score!

2009-01-24T07:27:00.000-08:00

The greatest play in the storied UW v Oregon rivalry is probably also the greatest play in the history of duck football. It propelled the ducks into the Rose Bowl, where they have not been since, and earned Kenny Wheaton free drinks for life in Eugene. I was with my Dad on the sideline of the Linfield v Western Oregon game, listening on a walkman, paying more attention to the action in Eugene than in Monmouth. I may not have seen the game live, but I did get to hear Jerry Allen's call, which really will live forever.

Baby Update!

2009-01-23T07:14:00.000-08:00

I know that the vast majority of you come to this blog to read my insightful thoughts, cute ramblings, and sage-like advice, but today I will instead give you an update on the baby. I am sorry that updates have been sporadic, but I have been sick for 6 weeks, barely winning the struggle to stand upright and live my life in a valiant, inspirational manner. I went to my doctor though, and he hooked me up. I like my doctor because he is Indian, (not from Indiana, but the nation of India) and went to a medical college in Mumbai. That is comforting to me, as I know that most Indian schools are way harder than the schools here that function as corporations rather than spots of higher learning. But I digress...

All signs point towards the bundle of joy arriving on or around her due date of February 27. Jana is 35 weeks along, and her stomach measures at 35 cm- or right where it should be. We are doing well in regards to preparation as well. Lynne Humble lent an invaluable hand, and we now have a bassinet, dresser (put together expertly by myself), and a new glider. The blinds were also installed on monday. They were tremendously expensive, but that makes them good, correct? We have one more shower to withstand, errrrrrrr I mean enjoy, and that will be next weekend in Tulsa. Super Bowl Weekend. 400 miles away. 3 weeks before the baby is due. In Tulsa, the place we just were less than a month ago. Tulsa- not Missouri, but Oklahoma. I am not saying anything about the planning for this party. Not at all. Not in my nature. No head-scratching as to the timing here! Tulsa- at the end of January when weather is always awesome and sunny!

All that we need, and I mean really need, to ensure the safety of this wee little baby is a car seat and a stroller. We appear to have found a pediatrician. We have a shit-load of blankets. And we made sure to get the baby some Mizzou clothing at Baby's R us last weekend. I will not compare baby's r us to the 7th circle of hell right now.

What have I watched this week that I enjoyed? LOST, of course.
What have I listened to this week? MGMT and Howard, of course!
What am I watching now: The incredible Sundance documentary "The Staircase", of course.

In the immortal words of Ringo Starr, "Peace and Love. Peace and Love."

How will the country ever persevere without Guantanamo Bay detention facility???

Intersting NY Times article on Tulsa, Oklahoma

2009-01-21T07:18:00.001-08:00

http://tinyurl.com/7emxtg

Interesting article on the acceptance and somewhat awkward embrace of Obama in staunch conservative, GOP country. Worth a read.

Cleaning up and Moving on

2009-01-21T06:53:00.000-08:00

Well, the inauguration is over and I have a few more randoms before we all move on to fixing the country. I have no clue how to fix the country, and I will probably attempt to do my part from the couch. I thought that Obama's speech was good, very Obama. The funny thing is that (for the last time) it showed what a true dip shit George W really is. Obama's whole speech was basically a repudiation of the last 8 years, telling the nation that we need to band together to fix what W broke. The entire time, W just sat there with a big shit-eating grin on his face dreaming about life on the ranch. What a true American idiot.

I also could not help but laugh at the pettiness of these career politicians. I am referring specifically to Jimmy Carter and his snubbing of the Clinton's in the hallway prior to being lead out on the stage. Carter greeted Old Man Bush and then brushed right by Bill. The reason? Everyone has a different explanation, but most of them have to do with Clinton feeling like Carter should have shut his mouth while he was trying to fix the situation in the middle east. How petty and stupid.

If you ever do any kind of public speaking or stand-up comedy and you have a bad night, look on the bright side. It is doubtful that you bombed as badly as Ray Romano did last night on the neighborhood inaugural ball. Ray is famous because 'everybody loves raymond', yet have you ever known anyone that admits to watching that show???

The steelers are an early 7 pt favorite in the super bowl. I have no idea how I feel about that. 7 pt spreads are exactly why I do not bet.

Joe Biden is Vice President!!!

2009-01-20T09:09:00.000-08:00

Like many Americans, I am watching the inauguration on television. Barack just took the oath of office and is now delivering his first address to the nation as the president. Some thoughts on the coverage:

-I chose to watch NBC. Brian Williams apparently thinks that all black people look alike because he twice looked at Craig Robinson and identified him as Reggie Love, presidential adviser. He then claimed, when corrected in his ear-piece, that he had just seen his 'good friend' Reggie earlier in the day, so that is why he was quick to misidentify him. If he is such good friends with Reggie, wouldn't he know what he looked like??? Later in the coverage, he then commented on Craig Robinson wearing Princeton colors on this very important day. Ummmm, I think he may have also been wearing Oregon State colors, seeing as how he is their head basketball coach.

-The Bush daughters are twins, but only one is hot. The other is decidedly not hot. I have no idea which is which, but I think it may be the married one who is hot.

-This is the first inauguration that I can even remember. I guess W did not excite quite so much.

-Obama's speech is good, but by this time, I think we all know that he can speak publicly with great aplomb.

-That asian guy whose kid slept through the entire Lincoln memorial concert is once again right behind obama, but the sleeping kid was left home.

-George HW Bush looks old, but in a dignified way. His walking with a cane makes sense, but then Cheney has to go and 'one-up' him and be rolled around in a wheel chair.

-Dan Quayle is there. So is Walter Mondale. The commentators had ZERO to say about either one of them.

Time for change, I guess. It will only take a trillion dollars and the un-doing of 8 years of disaster.

Obama is finally President!!

Something from the light side...

2009-01-14T09:37:00.000-08:00

Don't you just love 'moons over my hammy' from Denny's?

I love the television show 'the bachelor'. I am proud to say that I have seen every episode of both incarnations (including the bachelorette) and I have become a keen observer of the show. While I think the current bachelor, Jason Mesnick, is a boring tool, I am hooked as always. I am highly skilled at picking who will win the show, and once again, I have done it. The girl who wins this season (according to the spoiler link I am about to post) was an obvious choice, and Jana can back up the fact that immediately upon seeing her I said she would win. It is not hard to do this. No matter the high-falutant resons the guys give for being on the show (like in this case, 'to find a mother for my child'. Ughh barf. Doesn't the kid have a mom???) they always pick the hottest chick. Always.

http://tinyurl.com/99dmg3

The problem with the wm3 case...

2009-01-14T07:50:00.001-08:00

Is studying it online is like a diving headfirst into a black hole. Virtually everything about the case is online- every transcript, every interview, every picture. On top of that, everyone a-hole with a dial-up connection has an opinion on the evidence. Anyone would be best served to read all the factual stuff and ignore the rantings of the masses. This morning I read Echols testimony from his trial and the original confession of Miskelly. Miskelly's confessions does have holes- specifically his inability to pin down any kind of real timeline for the murders and his assertion that the victims skipped school, which is known to be false. I am not sure that you can throw out the 'baby with the bathwater' based on these discrepancies though. Miskelly, who was with the police of his own free-will and with the complete knowledge of his father, is given every chance in the world to stop the story and assert that he had nothing to do with the murders. He seems to have some prior knowledge of the crimes as well. He could have gotten this knowledge from hearsay or newspapers, or from the police themselves, but he also might have had it because he was there. I don't think we will ever know. What of his intelligence level? His IQ of 72 is often cited by both sides as some sort of 'mendoza line' to establish if he was even capable of remembering or committing such a thing. I should ask my mom, she taught mentally retarded kids for a long time....

Echols testimony is typical of someone with mental problems. You see it time and time again with people who testify on their own behalf. They probably, to a certain extent, feel backed into a corner- knowing that their life is on the line and they are the one person who can defend themselves. But, they also have a high (way too elevated) opinion of their own intelligence and feel as if they can outsmart the jurors and prosecutor. Echols professes to have self-esteem issues, which probably are real, but also comes off as arrogant. To top that all off, he lies numerous times and is caught in the lies. He claims to have never been in the vicinity of the crimes until he is faced with evidence and forced to admit that he actually walked in the area 2-3 per week. He is not truthful about his interest in satanism either, and that line of questioning made me wonder whether testifying was really the smartest idea for Damien. Also his complete lack of coherent alibi is weird. It would seem to me that if you were questioned by police about such things you would sit down and rack your brain about what it is you did the ENTIRE day. Especially since Echols was questioned so soon after the murders- within a week. I can understand not being familiar with your movements months or years after the fact, but a few days? He thinks he went to a few places (visiting family friends etc...) but cannot say when. He has know idea where he spent the night. He claims to have not discussed where he was with his family in an effort to build a specific alibi. Why not? He seems reclusive, but not because the world is a scary place, but rather because he has disdain for those who live fruitless lives. Not to mention the visual of him testifying is just weird. I know the story of his botched haircut, but why did someone from his team just not get a clipper and cut all of his hair off? Maybe he did not want that, and that plays into the arrogance theme.

Free the West Memphis 3? Ummm, maybe not. I now think they may be child killers.

2009-01-13T10:47:00.000-08:00

There are many theories that people past 30 would admit to subscribing too that, at 21, were diametrically opposed to what they thought 'defined' them. At 21, for instance, I could not understand why people drank wine, other than night train. Now, at 31, I drink 4-6 bottles per day of quality vino, like charles shaw shiraz. Perhaps the best example of my idea though is when it comes to politically charged murder trials ie: movements to "free" those people who are in prison because they were falsely accused and imprisoned due to nefarious political machinations. Leonard Peltier, for instance, is an example of someone who many believe was rail-roaded by the man. He is also obviously guilty as sin. I actually believed in his innocence at 21, but Peltier is a lightning rod for those who feel that the govt regularly frames those for murder who they deem "dangerous" to the machine. I still believe there is much we do not know about our own government and its workings, but at 21 I was sure that a vast conspiracy ruled everyday decision making processes and we were pawns of this monolithic machine.

Also, at 21, I sat in a friends dank basement, pot smoke billowing overhead like so much dust in the wind, and listened to tapes made in prison by convicted cop killer Mumia Abu-Jamal. Abu-Jamal is an eloquent man and a skilled writer. He is a passionate defender of those that he feels are robbed of the American dream by an evil govt. He is also (and quite obviously) a murderer. So many of the websites defending him raise questions that are easily refuted by the few websites that stand up for the life of the cop he murdered in cold blood. Propaganda, written by those with just as many political motivations as the prosecutors who sent him to jail, virtually prove Abu-Jamal guilty. Google his name and read- I think the true picture of what happened is proven by his own words. Your google search will also reveal hundreds of groups, coalitions, websites, and special marches, sit-ins, yell-ins et al that are all dedicated to freeing a man who is guilty. Using a convenient killer who looks the part of political radical and paradigm shifter to further your own stupid cause is the American way, but it also is insulting to those whose Abu-jamal's crime deeply affected.

So, that brings us to the West Memphis Three. For those of you who are uninitiated, the wm3 are Damien Echols, Jessie Miskelly, and Jason Baldwin. They were convicted of the May 5, 1993 murder/mutilation of three young boys in the Robin Hood Hills area of West Memphis, Arkansas. It was a truly horrific crime. Those who believe in the wm3's innocence point to a (what else?) politically motivated prosecution in which back-woods redknecks convicted three young men of murders they did not commit based on a fear of 'goth' lifestyles, heavy metal music,and black clothing. Add in a heaping dose of tremendously coerced confessions, and you have a recipe for an injustice. A sort of "satanic panic" overtook the people of West Memphis, and because of that, three innocent men will spend the rest of their lives in jail. The murders and subsequent trials achieved even greater notoriety with the making of "Paradise Lost" and "Paradise Lost II" by HBO documentary films. The films cast a large shadow of doubt on the convictions and rallied many famous supporters behind the cause of freeing the three- Henry Rollins and Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam among the most vocal. (Mara Leveritt, a reporter from the Memphis area also wrote an excellent book on the subject but I bet I am correct in assuming that the vast majority of the wm3's vocal supporters have not read it. It also cast doubt on the convictions.)

I first heard about the WM3 when Paradise Lost originally aired on HBO. I was immediately struck by the bizarre nature of the story, but also taken in by how the three were seemingly railroaded. The one thing about the film that still boggles my mind is how the average person, upon first viewing, so wants the wm3 to be innocent that they ignore the very creepy aspects of Echol's personality and the fact that 2 of the 3 defendants confessed numerous times to having committed the crimes. In fact, Miskelly, who confessed to the police, continued to confess after being convicted. More on that later though. Anyway, being in my early 20's, I was shocked that these three men were imprisoned for what amounted to nothing more than liking Metallica, and I chalked it up to just another example of the gross misconduct of the United States judicial system. I talked about the wm3 to most of my friends/family that would listen, and I encouraged all of them to watch the documentaries. I went on their website www.wm3.org and bought a t-shirt, thus giving them money (however little) to fight their uphill legal battle and get the convictions overturned. Now, as I re-visit the case these years later, I cannot help but think that I, and million of others, have been duped. We all eagerly skipped down the path that these killers laid for us, and a lot of us, me included, gave money to help free child mutilators.

I am still a fanatic of true crime documentaries, and as I type this, am eagerly awaiting the delivery of "The Staircase", the 6 hour documentary on the Michael Peterson murder/subsequent trial. (google it if you want a reason to waste hours of time). My fascination with this particular genre lead me to yet another viewing of the original Paradise Lost last spring, but this time I watched it with a friend who I consider very intelligent and knew nothing of the case. We sat and watched the film in silence, and when it ended I expected that together we would spit consternation and basic disrespect for our crooked system and the hoosiers that convicted these poor boys. My friend had the exact opposite reaction though. As I got up and shut-off the television he looked at me and said, "Creepy. Damien Echols makes me sick. I am glad he will never get out of prison." I was floored. Flabbergasted. I explained why he should be sick, not for the deaths of three kids, but instead for the trampling of the freedom of three young adults whose worst offense was lack of motivation and love of the color black. My friend was not convinced.

I forgot about it though, and moved on until last October when the case hit the headlines again. Basically, physical evidence of the murders was never in large abundance because the victims were thrown in a ditch filled with a significant amount of water. The water washed away much of the evidence that may or may not have been on the bodies. Basically, in October, an appeals court ruled that while much of the evidence at the scene was particular to the young murder victims, some of it could not be attributed to victims, or the convicted killers. This news brought Damien Echols, still on death row, back into the public eye. This, in and of itself, presents a problem for those who think the three guilty because Echols has morphed over time from a severely troubled and mentally unstable team into a seemingly thoughtful and well-spoken adult. He looks nothing like the chubby kid who was seemingly in awe of his own acquired notoriety back in the mid-90's, and more like a would-be college professor whose life and intellectual growth have been stunted by a vengeful judicial system. Echols has even married a 'normal' woman whom he met through her work to free him from jail. Needless to say, I watched all of his interviews, paying particular attention to his appearance on Larry King live, and instead of being whipped into potential frenzy by the wrongly convicted Echol's vim and vigor, I was disgusted. I felt like I was looking at a killer. I decided to start reading about the case again.

Just recently, I asked my wife "what if the wm3 are guilty?" It was a very hypothetical question and it got the response I somewhat desired but very much assumed. She said "What? Of course they are innocent. What about the movies and the website?" And with that offhanded statement, I think she very much highlighted the crux of the problem. The wm3 have become so much more than three men who may or may not have been wronged by a vengeful community, but instead the sum of all of their supporters websites and political motivations. By reading their website now (www.wm3.org), you will have to dig through a lot of notices about benefit screenings of the film, cd's being made by starving artists to see their heroes freed from prison, and solicitations for money before you ever get to the "meat" of their argument for freedom. Even when you get to the links and news articles about the case, there is very little editorializing or explanation. It appears that as far as the website is concerned, their innocence is so obvious that explaining it is beyond the point. Explaining why they are innocent is so 1997. Freeing them from prison is 2009. But, after nearly 15 years of appeals, hearings, news exposes, interviews, and benefits, they still sit in jail. The reason? I think it may be because all along, from the day those kids were killed, they have been guilty.

I came across this link http://crime-spree.blogspot.com/2005/04/why-i-think-west-memphis-3-are-guilty.html to a blog entry by a guy who wrote about true crime and then stopped. I hope he does not mind me re-printing this, but since his blog has had no activity for nearly 4 years, I doubt he will mind. Anyway, I am posting the link because it is a well written article and hits some of the quick points that show the wm3 could very much be guilty. It is not comprehensive by any stretch, but he covers some of the topics that have always bothered me about the case. The number one thing that has always crept into the back of my mind and made me question their supposed innocence is Damien Echols himself. By anyone's account, Echols was incredibly mentally ill at the time of the killings- therapists, friends and classmates, and the government themselves clearly saw that. He had a defined and illustrated history of mutilating animals and drinking blood. The victims in this case were mutilated, with one having his genitals cut off. Drinking of the victims blood was referenced by Miskelly and Echols. The wm3 were known to the victims and would have followed the older boys into the woods. All three defendants exhibited bizarre behavior in the aftermath of the crimes, and confessions seemed to come flying out of their mouths. Strange.

If the wm3 are innocent, where is the real killer(s)? One of the boys parents or step-parents? That has always seemed illogical to me, but is a theory subscribed to by many who would want Echols et al to be set free. I can see a parent killing his own child out of anger or frustration, but two of his friends also? And what of the sexual aspects of the crime? The makers of Paradise Lost tried to pin the crime on John Mark Beyers, the father of one of the victims. I invite anyone to offer one iota of evidence implicating him.

I am going to research this topic more, and I do not intend to get into Jessie Miskelly's false/true/coerced/not coerced confession right here and now. Their is no doubt that he is still of very low intelligence, with an IQ measured at or around 72. I still find it odd though that he did not confess after 12 hours of browbeating, but after only a few hours of discussion, and he continuously confessed again and again. Many aspects of his confession did not jive with the true facts of the crime, but then again, isn't he of very low intelligence thus drawing into question his ability to recall exact facts of the crime while still full-knowing that he participated in a grisly murder? As is stated in the blog I referenced, he always claimed to have drank heavily the night of the crimes. This may have blurred his memory. And what was the heavy drinking a possible escape from? His confession was not even heard at the trial of Echols and Baldwin anyway.

Baldwin himself presents many problems for those who would defend the wm3. His obvious immaturity and hero worship of Echols is very evident in the films. You can see him going along with whatever Echols was into, and we do know that he was into some sick shit. On top of that, all three alibi's presented by the defendants are shaky to say the least, not reliable to call it more correctly. These are all things that add up to a very real picture showing why they were arrested and convicted. The internet is full of so many people with little access to real facts and stupid opinions. I may be one of them, but I feel that in this case, there is an inordinant amount of morons defending the wm3.

OK- I am going to end this here, but I am not done exploring this topic. I have a feeling that this entry will have peaked my interest enough that I am going to post quite a few more times on this. For now though, I will end by saying that my confidence is shaken and my faith a bit stirred. I have a feeling that a large portion of those involved with the case have been duped- and they have been duped by three men currently in prison for gross murders that they very much committed.

I love the bcs- SNL.

2009-01-13T08:48:00.000-08:00

I wanted to post this hilarious song parody from Saturday Night Live, all about why the BCS rules. I could not find a good online copy of it, other than this one off of you tube. If you like, ignore the quick ad at the beginning for a website that lists everyone who has an STD. If you are frequently engaging in promiscuous sex, I would recommend that you did not ignore the ad and instead click on the link!

The Passion of the Yves.

2009-01-13T08:31:00.000-08:00

Anyone who knows me knows that next to the lord and beef jerky, television is my greatest passion. My passion is peaking in the next 7 days as two of my all time favorite shows return for their penultimate seasons. This Friday, Battlestar Galactica returns to Sci Fi and the following wednesday, LOST returns to ABC. On the ew.com, Doc Jensen has a normally cryptic column in which he tries to plant the seed that the ultimate evil of the island has nothing to do with Aaron and the idea that jack should not raise him or he should not be returned to the island. He believes it all to be a giant red herring. He seems to say that he feels the ultimate evil is our dear man of faith, John Locke. Interesting to see...He also has a 34 question LOST quiz that covers the last few seasons. I was able to get 26 out of 34, and thought I did very well. See how you do! LOST has provided what I feel to be the best hour of TV in the last few years, 'The constant', in which desmond and penny are finally re-united. If you have never seen the show, head down to the Big Box right now and start from the beginning. I often wish I could recapture the way I felt when I first saw Oceanic flight 815 crash onto the island. This final season should be quite a ride. As for BG, I have no predictions as to who the final cylon is, or at least no good ones. My guess is apollo, but that is really based on nothing. The truth shall be revealed though, or at least that is the promise. Big Love also returns to HBO this sunday after a long hiatus, as does the hilarious 'flight of the conchords'. I would also recommend the Brit-import re-appearing on showtime this sunday 'secret confessions of a call girl'.

The weekend was good.

2009-01-12T07:11:00.000-08:00

What a lame title for this post, huh? I feel the need to post something, but I am not sure what I have to say. I need to move the independent film of annie off of the top spot anyway.

THE #1 THING THAT ANNOYS ME RIGHT NOW: People that are my age or around my age (29-35) acting like Facebook, or even the much-maligned My Space, is such an indispensable tool for reconnecting with people that they never cared to connect with, or hardly talk to, back in our halcyon college days. I have a friend, Pete, who just recently tried to convince me how much fun facebook is- spending time finding out what ways your former classmates are squandering their lives or how many kids your ex-girlfriend has. My response is always the same- if I gave two shits about what these people were doing, then I would have made an effort over the last decade to keep up with them. I did not talk to them when I had the opportunity to do so everyday, so why would I want to send messages to them via the computer??? It is not like any of these people are actually picking up the phone and having a real conversation.

You know what this facebook obsession is a true sign of? Wasting time at work. These people would not be on facebook if they were not bored at work. Facebook is fine if you grew up with it, but 30-somethings using facebook is a lot like wearing a cyber-toupee. You are trying to regain something that is over. Just shave your head and move on. If I was to run into an old fraternity brother of mine, I would be happy to say hello and bro-hug. Otherwise, I am the guy who runs the other way if I spot an old high school classmate in the mall.

Testing....

2009-01-09T10:31:00.000-08:00

Pardon the lameness of this video, I was just experimenting to see if I had downloaded and properly installed the right plug-in to see if the videos work. It looks like they do! yeah! In the meantime, enjoy annie the dog lounging in the sun and keeping watch over the neighborhood.

Friday!

2009-01-09T06:59:00.000-08:00

Jana's stomach is expanding, but I guess that makes sense seeing that she has a 6 pound human inside of it. She is carrying the baby "high" meaning that she has smoked a ton of marijuana in order to alleviate back pain and anxiety. No, just kidding. She is carrying the baby "high" meaning she does not look fat like a lot of chicks whose baby-belly resembles a spare tire. (no offense to my female readers. Much love!) She is doing well, but the 'newness and fun' of pregnancy has worn off. I suspect that the next major news will be that she is starting to experience some pre-birth contractions.

BYE FOR NOW, CHOKLAHOMA! The game last night went pretty much how I figured- OU could not handle Florida's defensive line. The game was dramatic but not particularly good or well played. Once again, a B-12 got manhandled on the line. In previous games, the sooners offensive line was blowing teams off the line and back 5 yards. They could not do that to the gators. Bye College Football- see ya next year!

NFL PLAYOFF WEEKEND:
Ravens at Titans
Spread: Ravens +3

I would take take the Ravens and the points, although people are really split on this game.

Cardinals at Panthers
Spread: Cards +10

This game smells like a blow-out maybe even more so now that it appears Boldin may not play. I would take the sex panthers and give the points.

Eagles at Giants
Spread: Eagles +4

I would take the eagles. They are peaking at the right time, much like last year's Giants. I think the giants may win this game, but close.

Chargers at Steelers
Spread: Chargers +6

I personally like the chargers, so I would take them. No science behind this pick.

Overall, I like 3 road dogs to beat the spread and a home team to romp. After all, they always say "take the team named after a fast cat at home on Saturday night in the playoffs when the game is played in the south".

The (canadian) People versus Sean Avery

2009-01-08T13:04:00.001-08:00

So, Sports Illustrated has weighed in on the controversy surrounding the National wHo cares League (NHL) and their banishment of Vogue-interning, hockey bad-man Sean Avery. (It actually pains me to label the league in such a way, but I must call it what it is. I have loved hockey all my life but the current state of the sport is pathetic.) For those of you who do not know, Avery was sent to anger management, suspended for 6 games, and then eventually cut by the Dallas Stars for referring to two of his ex-girlfriends as "sloppy seconds". He is now persona-non-grata throughout hockey. These two exes happen to be dating other NHL players. The two women in question are Rachel Hunter and Elisha Cuthbert.

First off, I like how everyone in the mainstream media who covers this story must toss off the obligatory statement expressing their disgust at such language and acting shocked that any 'normal' human would spew such trash. Give me a politically-incorrect break! Sloppy seconds? Have all of us become so buttoned-up and demure that the phrase rocks our puritanical core? The way people talk and the way we want others to think we talk is vastly different. Go to a hockey game anywhere in North America and you will hear way worse language- and probably on the concourse in the hot dog line. Is that phrase really so bad? Now lets get to the subjects of his taboo ranting; Let's face it- Rachel Hunter is now a semi-celebrity who is best known for being married to the prune that is Rod Stewart. To say she has been 'gently used' would probably be the proper euphemism. I guess you should not verbally attack an old lady like Avery did, but did Avery really stray that far from the truth? Am I wrong in assuming Hunter has probably been around the block a few dozen times? Or did I miss something- does the NHL now operate on a code of medieval chivalry where the women-folk are meek and cannot defend themselves?

Elisha Cuthbert, on the other hand, is often referred to as "A List". Hmmmm, being the star of one marginally good film ('The Girl Next Door' which I assume is probably on Cinemax right now) and appearing in the most misogynistic show of all time "24" (next to Real World/Road Rules challenge), hardly qualifies you as 'A list'. She is maybe on the Canadian A list, but lets face it, so is Jason Priestley. Maybe people are taking into account all of her straight to dvd movies? I guess she did appear in 'Old School' but have you ever heard anyone quote one of her lines from that movie? A kind of quantity over quality qualification? Anyway, she is Canadian and therefore it can be understood why she is a major hockey groupie. She reminds me of the girls who used to wait around for the Portland Winter Hawks junior hockey team back when I was in high school. In fact, in whatever prairie town she is from, she probably was one of those girls. There is nothing wrong with that, but it is also stupid to deny that she has 'dated' her fair share of guys with the same profession. Alyssa Milano, an American, is pretty hot, but she has mowed through quite a few major league baseball players. Cuthbert is the Canadian Milano, and they are both fairy sloppy.

Secondly, lets look at the NHL's track record here. Are we really supposed to be lead to believe that the NHL dearly cares about women being treated as possessions? They could give two shits about Avery verbally assaulting random fans like he has been known to do, but making a joke about a grown woman crosses the line? They currently employ Todd Bertuzzi who assaulted and nearly killed a fellow player. And he did this on the ice, with his hockey stick, in full view of the world. Homophobic chants are often a part of 'hard-core' hockey fans fancy game time rhetoric and Avery's own homepage has repeatedly been hacked into and defaced, with the hackers calling him such witty names as 'fag'. These same fans have also been known to brutally taunt the very few black players. It is a sport that draws its loudest cheers from players of opposing teams punching each other in the face!!! Sean Avery cannot say "sloppy seconds"??? The league has horrible ratings, a weird point scoring system that few casual fans understand, and plays to thousands of empty seats, except in a few traditional markets. To top it off, they appear on a cable network that the majority of Americans probably have never heard of or even know they get. Sean Avery looking to take a dig at an opponent is the call to arms that they react to? Really?? What in the world is wrong with this picture?? In the NHL locker-room, individuality is supposedly frowned on. But then again, ratings, fan growth, and relevance is also apparently frowned on. Maybe things could stand to change.

Sean Avery, by anyone's account, was not the ideal teammate. People in the league seemed to deal with it when he was racking up points for the New York Rangers though. He became expendable when his production dipped, and Commissioner Gary Betteman saw him as a scapegoat. The NHL always wonders how to fix their myriad problems. I have no idea how to fix the league, but banning Sean Avery for some fairly humorous remarks probably is not it. I am sure that he was a distraction to 'the product' on the ice, but when the product itself is broken, is that really a bad thing?

Sean Avery will be back and I hope the headline writers say that he is returning to the NHL for "sloppy seconds".

One oblong, crystal, chotchkee to rule them all!!!

2009-01-08T09:38:00.000-08:00

I am currently riding a very anti-Big 12, anti-ESPN wave. The myth of the Big 12 as the best conference in the BCS is being dispelled each and every day, but ESPN will not give up the ghost. The SEC is clearly the strongest league, with the B-12 maybe in a 2nd place tie with the PAC 10. I say 'maybe' because I think there is strong evidence, after their 5-0 performance in the bowls, that the Pac 10 is superior. ESPN so dearly wants you to believe that the B-12 is nearly a sub-conference of the NFL that they pound you over the head with this false notion 24-8. Both Ole Miss and Oregon physically decimated two of the B-12's most beautiful schools- Texas Tech and Oklahoma State. They not only scored at will on them, they did so in the most arrogant of manners- by simply running straight ahead plays that could be seen on any of their game tapes. On top of that, they handled both high-powered offenses by stopping what both teams did best- running in osu's case, and throwing in TT's. Mizzou looked awful against Northwestern, and Kansas won a bowl game that I think half the country was not aware even took place. Texas is that pin-head Colt McCoy and a bunch of other guys. If Ohio State had been able to throw the ball even one single iota, they would have won by 14-17 points. Terelle Prior is all crazy legs and no arm, and he was still almost victorious over pin-head. Ohio State ran the ball every play and Texas looked like they were witnessing the reinvention of the wheel. The B-12 is a bunch of good offenses with awful defenses attached, albatross style around the neck of the 'genius' offensive coordinators. On top of that, the bottom feeders of the league are awful. Iowa State would be last in any BCS conference. Kirk Herbstreet is a jerk.

OK- that being said, I obviously pick Florida to win. If the game stays in the 30's or lower, Florida will dominate. If the score rolls up into the 40's or 50's OU will probably win, but in order for this to happen, they are going to have to get multiple turnovers. Tim Tebow is probably the best COLLEGE player of all time, and no one seems to notice. ESPN is more concerned with what NFL team will turn him into a scat-back. Ughh.

Florida 38
OU 28

A note on corruption...

2009-01-08T08:06:00.000-08:00

It is such a joke that presumptive Senator Burris is not being seated in Washington DC. Rod Blagojevich may have committed fraud and be guilty of gross misconduct in Illinois, but he has yet to be fairly tried, or even allowed to defend himself. People seem to be aghast at this uncovering of 'gross' corruption, but you are naive if you think that this even uncovers the tip of a giant iceberg that exists at all levels of govt throughout the nation. Blago may have made mistakes and be guilty of gross arrogance, but until it is proven, Illinois needs a junior senator. To not allow them to have one based on a misconstrument of the law is wrong. Fight Roalnd! Fight Blago!

Peace.

33 weeks- are we having fun yet?

2009-01-07T12:28:00.000-08:00

Jana had her 33 week ultra-sound today- the doctor wanted to see if the baby was afflicted with the same stomach ailment that I was born with. Claire appears to be just fine though, and on top of that, the ultrasound gave us a good look at her now that she is a little grown up. Not only does she have a lot of hair, but she is a big girl. Right now she comes in at around 5 pounds and 12 oz- give or take a half-pound. That puts her in the 90% for babies at this stage, and also plays directly into my plans of molding her into a professional athlete. I would prefer soccer, while Jana of course leans towards basketball. But I digress...She was blinking, opening and closing her mouth, and the ultrasound tech. showed us her practicing to breath with her lungs. She said that particularly healthy babies will practice taking in fluid and expelling it using their lungs, in preparation for being born. It was cool to see. She has a very round stomach at this point (I have no clue where she would have gotten that) and appears to be all around healthy. We will be going back in 4 weeks just to check on her growth progress, but it is doubtful that she will arrive any other way than naturally. She will probably be a 9 pound (plus) baby, but Dr Smith assured us that was ok by going into detail about the 11 pound baby she birthed last week. Jana looked uncomfortable during this part. I hope you enjoy the pic.

Sometimes I forget...

2009-01-07T06:35:00.000-08:00

that I am an ordained minister of the Universal Life Church. Back in 2000, I felt an incredibly strong calling, almost a longing. At the time, I was living in the Bay Area, and I would often get this feeling. Usually it was satiated by a double-double from In 'n Out burger. On this particular occasion though, the double did not do it. And then I noticed something peculiar. The glorious grease splotch created on my food brown bag formed an image- nay, a picture. And that picture was of the lord. I quickly went online and became ordained. I had given over my life. Then I promptly forgot about it. I just remembered today, and I want everyone to know that I am available to perform same-sex unions in the Saint Louis metro area. I will also come to your hometown for the wedding, provided transportation is paid for.

Shalom.

Oklahoma State- You've Been Ducked!

2008-12-31T07:46:00.000-08:00

I honestly thought it was not going to happen, I honestly thought that the power of the Big 12 would prevail. And for one half of football Tuesday night, it looked like I would be right. But then, all duck broke loose and Oregon played their best half of football...ever? What a performance by the now 10-3 U of O. Where to start? Jeremiah Masoli was simply brilliant. He ran the option like he had been doing it for years and he was clearly the MVP in a night where Oregon had many heroes. Poor Zac Robinson of osu probably needed a night of doctor's observation as he got absolutely hammered by the much maligned ducks D. Most people will be getting hammered tonight, but Robinson got his pounding in early. He looked gun-shy and frankly scared in the 2nd half and w/out the freak that is Dez Bryant to bail him out, the pokes ran out of offensive options. Prior to the game, I heard all about this dude named Kendal Hunter who supposedly could run the ball really well. I guess he did not play...The ducks running back combination of Blount and Johnson ran the ball at will. That poor DB for osu will be forever remembered as the guy that guy run over by Masoli and jumped over by Blount. Belotti and Chip Kelly had a plan, and in the 2nd half the plan worked to perfection. Walter Thurmond's second half kick-off return got the juices flowing for the ducks and their was no stopping them. Brilliant play overall and maybe the most satisfying ducks bowl win ever. To top it all off, the blazers beat the celtics! What a night!

JANA NEWS: Jana is doing really well and her stomach is ever-expanding. She is beginning to hedge dangerously towards the bad side of comfort/discomfort but then again she is also on the hoime stretch. Once a month doctor's visits now become weekly and I hope just hope that the little one stays put until the bedroom furniture shows up!

TODAY'S PLANS: Jana is already drunk, and it is 10am! I guess that New year's eve provides an excuse to even the fiercest of alcoholics. We are going to run some errands and then retire to our estate to watch the Beaver game this afternoon. Tonight is dinner out and then hanging on until midnight. I do not plan on getting drunk, which means I will get very drunk.

DO NOT BE A BARKLEY and have a safe and happy new year, I know I will. This past year has been awesome and I am most thankful for the Roloff family of Helvetia, Oregon.

Big ups to all, get well soon zac robinson (he already has the pounding headache that most get on New Year's day!)and talk to you next year.

xoxoxoxoxoxox

Holiday- it could be so nice!

2008-12-30T11:29:00.000-08:00

I really know nothing about football, and every pick I generally make is tinged by who I want to win. Therefore, any analysis I give of tonight's Pac Life Holiday Bowl is rather useless. OSU battles the Ducks and both teams have high powered offenses and filthy rich benefactors. While Phil Knight of Nike generally uses his wealth for good, T Boone Pickens generally uses his wealth for evil and furthering the GOP agenda- often one in the same. Phil is good, T is bad. The Ducks running game is good, OSU's is also good. I just hope that the ducks do not once again lay a bowl-egg. Ha ha. Great Pun.

Ducks 90
cowboys 9

Requiem for a Chase Daniel.

2008-12-30T06:47:00.001-08:00

The Alamo Bowl last night was memorable because it was the last game Chase Daniel, Chase Coffman, and Jeremy Maclin (probably) will ever play for Mizzou. It was not eventful for the on-field action. The game was sloppy and annoying and I wanted to punch myself in the face. Missouri played badly and Northwestern looked like a bunch of 12 year olds, hyped up on sugar, trying SO HARD to believe that they could really win a game that they had no business making close. It shows how big the gap between the Big 12 and Big 10 truly is. For 3.5 quarters, Chase Daniel played awful. He seemed panicked, his throws were often wayward, and the defense felt victorious if NW only gained 8 yards per play. In the end though, the more talented team prevailed, and Daniel got to leave the field with a win that he really deserved. The Heisman trophy finalist of a year ago threw 18 picks over his last 7 games and often looked more panicked than two 15 year olds and a broken condom. In the end though, he was able to gather himself and get a win for the tigers, throwing a perfect strike on 3rd down in OT for a Maclin TD. I read a quote by defensive player Sean Weatherspoon over the weekend where he said prior to the Oklahoma State debacale, the team felt that they were on their way to a national title. Nowhere was that more evident then in the play of Chase Daniel. He wore 25 that day (a nice tribute to fallen player Aaron O'Neil, but maybe more appropriate for Chase to wear in another game) and had that ridiculous mohawk. No one believed the hype more than Chase, obviously, and it cam back to bite us all in the proverbial ass. All that being said, Mizzou did win 10 games in back-to-back seasons and that would have never been possible without Daniel. His play was often inspiring, and he will always have that cold night in Arrowhead in December of '07 when he defeated the Jayhawks and propelled the Tigers to #1, however briefly.
Chase was many things as the Mizzou QB, but tough will always come first to my mind. It was nice to see them win, and my brief disgust with Chase will pass and 20 years from now we will talk about him like he was Joe Montana incarnate.

TONIGHTS BIG GAME!

I am very excited for the Holiday Bowl tonight, mostly because I think it could be a great game. I am still formulating my pick...it will come in a bit...

Happy Hanukah and a bitchin' Kwanza!

2008-12-29T06:33:00.000-08:00

I trust that all of you had a happy holiday. I realize that the holiday season is far from over, and New Year's eve is only a few days away, so the season is still in full-swing I guess. New Year's eve is always one of my favorite nights, and January 1st is the one day of the year when I actually relish waking up with cotton mouth, dried vomit caked on the side of my face, still wearing the same clothes from the night before, wondering why I am in my neighbors backyard. God Bless Booze!

Jana and I had a nice christmas. The gifts we received were home/baby oriented, but that was to be expected. We still have a lot to buy and a lot of work to do, so as the clock ticks down past the 8 week mark, "ramping up for baby" is the phrase of the day. Tulsa was fine, or as fine as tulsa can be. It was 78 degrees on Christmas day, which was disturbing in so many ways. It was humid and gross. I like Tulsa, but part of me can never see past the "cow town" aspects that always seem to be right on the surface of the cities life. The local news seems to be one (slight) notch ahead of much, much smaller towns. Can't they get someone who is NOT cross eyed to read the news? Oh well.

Mizzou plays Northwestern tonight in the Alamo bowl. I already stated that I am over Chase Daniel, but I suspect tonight will be like when you have just broken up with an ex, and then you see them at a party purposefully looking way hotter than they did the last 3 months of your relationship. You know what I mean. After 12-15 coors lights, you spy each other across the crowded room and decide that the sure thing is better than the stumbling, bumbling walk home alone. Your one more night together is more desperate than passionate, but for maybe a single second you recover all the glory that the two of you once shared. Then in the morning you feel hungover and ashamed. Tonight, Chase Daniel, is Our "Jamaica me Crazy". I bet you will be looking fine as hell.

Mizzou 45
NW 35

More to come!!!

We all Love 'The Price is Right'- check this out!

2008-12-17T11:05:00.000-08:00

The PIR reminds me of college, specifically living the KE house my junior year. My room was right above a sweet of 4 guys, and they used to watch the PIR everyday. They would hoot AND holler. I would lay in bed and listen to show, knowing that I needed to get up. The PIR started at 11am. This video is awesome. Hot mess oldster wins both showcases in an amazing way!

Just another maniacal Monday....

2008-12-15T06:20:00.000-08:00

No- I will not be posting the video of Bush dodging shoes. He played it very cool though. Thank god the guy did not have a gun, or not even socialism could help us.

I will not comment on McCain supporting Obama and shitting on Palin. McCain became a puppet of those with whom who would not even normally share a cup o' coffee at the Wassilla diner with, and a return to the 'old' mccain (old-er mccain??) is only good for the country. I want my lovable curmudgeon back!

Jana is doing well, and we had a weekend of baby preparation. We went to babies 'r us for the first time, it was not so bad really. We bought a new sectional at the pottery barn and a new "cooking for baby" book at Williams/Sonoma. New blinds are being picked out this week! We also went to hobby lobby and the lady who helped us out looked at jana and said "wow- you must be due in the next week or so!". It was funny.

Very cold here. Close to 0 with the wind chill.

Bowl picks are coming. Lets go bowling! Then roast bowls! Then wear bowler hats! Yeah!!

Annie! Me and Jana!

2008-12-12T11:41:00.001-08:00

Long time, no blog!

2008-12-12T09:55:00.000-08:00

Well, as a few of you may have noticed, I have not posted for a couple of weeks on this here blog. The reasons are myriad, and come in an order of no particular importance. For one, I hit the wall that most bloggers confront at one time, possibly at many times; no one reads your blog- no matter how laugh out loud funny YOU think it is. I know that no one just "happens upon" this blog, and no one cares. Now that I have realized this, it is time to start blogging again. Secondly, Jana and I were out of town for 8 days visiting my family and when we got home I got sick. I was sick for a whole week with something resembling, but certainly not, the flu seeing as how I received a flu shot. At first I thought I was hungover, but even the heaviest of drinking cannot produce a 5 day hangover. There is a cutoff- any drinking that would cause you to regret it 5 days later usually resorts in death by alcohol poisoning first. So, I promise I will never leave you again and I promise that this blog will return to its roots and be more about the baby. The Old school- that is where this blog is headed.

Well, baby girl humble will be here in 8 weeks! Yeah! Jana and I are taking diametrically opposing roads in regard to our apprehension though. I am nervous about the actual baby- holding it, soothing it, getting it to stop crying, rubbing shit on my face by accident when I do not know I have gotten it on my hands. On the other hand, jana is nervous about the pre-baby stuff. Getting the furniture put together, painting the nursery, having enough (but not too many) blankets- I do not get her, and she thinks I am being foolish. Where does that get us???

Since we last chatted, we have had two baby showers. One thrown by my sister and held in Camas, WA over the holiday break and one thrown by Jana's work-folks and held in Earth City, MO a few days ago. The shower in Camas was interesting. Over half of the guests really did not want to be there. I will not name-names, but the overall mood of the shower was off. All of the party shopping had to be done by those least qualified to throw a major party, and quite a few in attendance spent a good amount of time complaining about how far away Camas is from life in general. That is a sure sign of getting old- bitching about driving 20 miles. Some of our good friends performed well at the shower- Brandon and walt in particular. Others should have tried a bit harder to pretend that they actually gave a shit. The "Poo Poo- You suck" award goes to my Uncle Jason and Aunt Trasie for not even pretending to give a shit- they went all in with their bad attitudes. I guess I am over it though, because the older I get the more I realize that 99% of people are selfish jerks, so why should family be any different?

Jana's work shower on the other hand was awesome. Firstly, I did not have to go. Yeah! Secondly, these gainfully employed people gave us great gifts, including the baby bjorn front-pack I had coveted. Another shower awaits us in January, in the hopefully cool and calm climate of Tulsa.

As this blog returns to its roots, I am going to add some pics of the showers and of Jana, but I cannot completely escape my "old blog" mentality and I will run down every bowl game- ranking them by my confidence level. I am sorry to those who felt that this blog became too partisan during the election, but I think a few of those people were having issues with the GOP sinking faster than the Lusitania. Obama is now the president and we are probably slightly less fucked then we would have been had McRage won. Yeah for American politics!

Contrary to rumor, I was not laid up in bed for weeks due to the indignity of Mizzou losing to weak Kansas. I was over that a few minutes after it happened, and I am also over Chase Daniel. KU and MU are pretty even teams with KU playing a harder schedule during which they played badly and Mizzou playing a weaker schedule which made it hard for them to compete with the "big boys". Oreogn v Oklahoma State does appear to be one of the better bowl games on the schedule and I am already calling the duck upset. OSU is good but the ducks have time to prepare and a rushing game that even the cowboys should envy. I am sure more will be written on this game later...

Look at my Pics!